I Became a Sage Through Merit, but My Wooden Fish Is Electronic

[Not your conventional power fantasy. Heavy on memes, the protagonist is no good guy, and the author may have a screw loose. Enter at your own risk.]

“Only with a sufficiently devout heart and unwavering reverence, by following the rules ever more strictly and cleansing the mortal world from one's flesh through nine trials, can one restrain the mind-monkey's curiosity about all things and perhaps hear a single word of the Buddha's wisdom.”

The eminent monk Xuanshen had returned from Lingshan. As he fiddled with a red sandalwood fish drum from the imperial collection, he spoke at length to the people around him.

Taizong thought he faintly heard the monk mutter, “What era are we living in, and you're still knocking on a traditional wooden fish?” But he was clearly more interested in what the Buddha had to say, so he asked:

“What did you hear, Imperial Brother?”

Xuanshen smirked.

“The Buddha says: It doesn't matter if it's cooked.”

Xuanshen transmigrated to the world of Journey to the West with his phone and became Xuanzang's junior brother.

This world was far too dangerous!

The gods and Buddhas were merciless, demons ran rampant, and in the eyes of such beings, ordinary people were servants, insects, and food.

Xuanshen had planned to wait until he was a little older, then return to secular life and become a wealthy man of the Tang Empire. He would steer clear of supernatural nonsense and just coast through life.

Who could have guessed that his phone already had an electronic wooden fish app installed, one that could help him cultivate and set him on the path to becoming a sage through merit?

So Xuanshen took that path.

He just strayed a little off course.