A Pain That’s Hard to Let Go

How to say it! Some people really don't cherish it when they are alive, and when they really leave, they feel sorry for this person. Why are they unwilling to face it when they clearly have the opportunity to make amends? Can't they really let go? Maybe I have almost the same experience as Zhong Yu here. I am a little luckier than her. Although my mother passed away early, I still work hard to live. I am in good health and do not have a heart disease as serious as Zhong Yu. I sympathize with her, as if I have seen the past. When I was wronged when I was a child, I had thoughts of death. I liked to run to the edge of the weir more than 50 meters away from the river and sit on it. To be honest, I really wanted to die at that moment, but I couldn't bear it, because my mother wanted me to live well. What would my father do if I left? I was also thinking about why they blamed me and wronged me when it was clearly not my fault. My father was away all the time at that time and didn't understand the strangeness of this. He didn't want to listen to my explanation. He always said that I wouldn't talk about it if I wasn't a grandma. But no one would believe me and no one would protect me. After my father came back, my grandma talked about it again. It happened that I was talking to my grandma again. After an argument, my father said that grandma was an elder and how could I have such a daughter. Then he beat me indiscriminately and forced me to admit that it was not me. He told me to let me fend for myself. I felt really bad. I will always remember that day. It was a very hot June day, but I was extremely cold and my heart was hurting. That beating I hit the ground and couldn't get up. My face was so swollen and my eyes were so red that they made me cry. My back, legs, and even my whole body were covered with bruises. After that time, I no longer had any hope or expectation for my father. I just wanted to stay away from him. I was afraid that he would hit me or even look at me, which would make me tremble. He thought I made a mistake. I should have been beaten, but it also became an indelible scar in my childhood that I cannot forget for a long time. The empathy in this novel has arrived. I seem to recall the scars from the past. All kinds of bad things and experiences. Although I have grown up now, those scars have always existed, and the scars of the past have slowly become deeper and deeper in time. I hope everyone will cherish the people they are now. Life is short and you can enjoy yourself now. Don't wait until you wake up to appreciate it. This book really resonated with me.