Everyday Life in Kivotos

Come on, boy. There are still many problems 1: The protagonist's personality is not distinct enough (or does he have a personality?), The character is not three-dimensional, what is the core of the character's actions? Why do things? Is there any reason? 2: The story line is too confusing, what is the main line? What is the branch line? 3: As a fanfic, if the big framework is already available, why not write it? What is the sea? What kind of school is it? What kind of person is he? 4: What are the character's abilities? What are the mainstream genres? What are the characteristics? 5: The characters of the heroines are too simple. 6: There is no logic in the whole text. It is all about what the author thought of and wrote. There are some obviously unreasonable plots. 7: The plot connection is inappropriate. It seems like there are a lot of things, but none of them are realistic. The mountains are written as sand and rocks, and the sea is written as a lake. It doesn't mean it's a drop in the ocean, but rather it's superfluous and swallows the truth without hesitation. Make the story longer, tell it more concisely, and tell it in detail. Every time some plot comes out, it always ends abruptly. One or two sentences are passed by casually. If you don't dig out the gold, you won't be able to find it. The main problem is the plot and character. I hope I can work hard to build basic skills. Come on, boy

Well written, well written