Habitual Avoidance: What Are You Afraid Of?

A very good book. Although this book does not go into too much detail on a practical level, it still helps to focus on our awareness and introspection of emotions and thinking. There is a saying that "Unfortunate people have their own misfortune" This book lists all kinds of misfortunes and explains their causes and solutions. In addition, I recommend another book "Self-Esteem", which is more detailed. You can read these two books together and you will definitely gain something.

After reading the second book, I understood a lot of truths, which made problems that I had not noticed before become clear. Reading is useful. No matter how busy you are, you should find time to read and improve yourself. Come on💪, you are the best.

What's amazing is that many of the ideas in this book overlap with the content mentioned in the "goals of the soul in this life, unfamiliar or unfamiliar areas, and the direction of life's efforts" represented by the position of the North Node in my horoscope. They are like some suggestions for solving the tasks of the North Node. I read it carefully and recorded some corresponding content and suggestions. I hope these fresh perspectives and opinions can become a part of me and help me deal with my own life better. Actively integrate into society. Avoid victimhood thinking. Look within, only you can save yourself! At the same time, we must also cultivate and strengthen our ability to love ourselves, and believe that we are worthy of being loved. This does not depend on how good I need to be, but that I am worthy of being loved as myself. We must also be brave enough to love, accept love, know ourselves, and accept other people's selves!

This book is really a masterpiece, it is so delicate, and a lot of it is about myself.

A great psychology book. It feels like face-to-face psychological consultation. It is the best guide and healer. It interprets and advises readers gently and powerfully. Every sentence of the author points directly to the deepest heart, strikes the soul, and faces the deepest self. It was painful from the beginning of reading it. I don't know how many times I have seen the "child" in my heart staying in the abyss, lonely, helpless, angry, wronged... And constantly roaring silently. After reading the whole book, I feel like I have been redeemed. Ershua is ready to sort out his own problems and establish a mature self-awareness and mind. The child is trying to grow up!

He who has not cried for a long night is not enough to describe his life, indeed! I'm skeptical about some points, but that doesn't stop it from being a good book! 👍

This book is like a mirror, reading as if you are talking to yourself. A lot of psychological knowledge runs through the whole book, and the language is simple but deeply rooted in people's hearts. Among them, the analysis of type C personality and "inability to be loved" resonated with me the most. It gave me a clearer understanding of myself and found a new breakthrough on the road to reconciliation with myself. As the saying goes, "read yourself, please yourself, and surpass yourself." I hope that you, like me, who suffer from avoidance psychology, will also be lucky enough to read this book and know that you are not alone in overcoming psychological barriers and breaking through the many obstacles that make it difficult to establish intimate relationships with others. 🫶💌

It was very helpful to me. The content is very real and easy to understand. You must believe in yourself!

Reading this book is like having a lot of conversations with myself, and I understand the reasons for many of my emotions, the reasons for the formation of many of my personalities, and how to solve my own problems. It is really a book that needs to be read many times. Many thanks to the author. It can be regarded as knowing why some people around me have strange personalities. If you want to understand human nature, psychology must be your first choice. Recommended to everyone who needs a hug!

After reading the first chapter of this book, I was very attracted by the content. It can be said that it is very similar to my own situation. After reading it, I felt very profound. Some of the suggestions mentioned were like enlightenment. I hope that I can reduce internal friction in the future and express my true inner thoughts🙏

I have to say that it is a very well-written, nuanced, and insightful book! Based on my personal growth experience, I am very excited and lucky to read this book! Many aspects written in it are true reflections of myself. I have always been confused that no one understands me and no one realizes my feelings. I only blame myself for not reading enough books and not reading this book earlier! Now when I look back and think about my parents' words and deeds towards me when I was a child, I feel an inexplicable anger in my heart. I am particularly angry. I feel so wronged and unfair! This feeling followed me as I grew up, causing countless scars on myself, like being tightly trapped by shackles! Even now when I encounter situations in the past, I still have the same overreaction as when I was a child. I will reflect afterwards on why I get so angry when encountering such situations. There are still too many emotions in my heart that have not been seen and are buried! How should I soothe them and make them soft and peaceful! It must be very powerful to feel the process of gradual changes in your own heart!

A great book that touches people's hearts. It thoroughly analyzes and sorts out the pain in life from a psychological and experiential perspective. The pain in life is often caused by the inability to return to oneself and face the negative parts of vulnerability, embarrassment, and low self-esteem. When faced with them, they shrink back.

The author writes very well. What impressed me most is what is real success? Success should not be defined. Follow your own heart, why not be a kind of success. I didn't like traveling before, I liked staying at home, and my heart seemed to be closed. After I was admitted to the postgraduate entrance examination for World War II, I went out to work. Gradually, I like to go to the beach to relax and travel with friends. My mind has really broadened a lot. I am now 22 years old. I can enjoy happiness without caring about other people's opinions. At the same time, I have become more and more confident. I love myself now. This is the way I want to live. (At the same time, I hope I will greet my postgraduate life with fuller enthusiasm). Follow your heart.

This is the first book that gave me a strong desire to read it. At first, I just thought it had a high rating. I happened to feel that I had an avoidant personality and wanted to try to change myself, so I started listening to this book. The more I read, the more I felt like I was looking at myself in the mirror! I have finished listening to this book and bought a paper version. I am going to read it a second time and take notes. Worth a look[Like]

Oh my god, this book hit my heart. There are several chapters about me. I found the answer to my personality while deeply doubting myself. It was because I was evaluated by too many people in my growing life, which led me to be unable to accept myself and long to be like others. Little did I know that I was very good, but I always lived in the evaluation of others, even sacrificing myself, avoiding direct conflicts, and failing to truly love myself. This book was so well written, with details and examples, that I learned about the multifaceted nature of people.

The author analyzes the issue from the perspective of escape, and understands himself step by step from his family of origin, growth background, life emotions, self-understanding, and self-motivation, and finds ways to cope with it. The analysis is accurate, and people with an evasive personality will surely be able to empathize with it. In addition, the author also talks about many other negative emotions or behaviors that people have in their families of origin, social work, and interpersonal interactions, and explains the motivations behind them and how to help them. The text is rational and the method is practical. It is objective and worth reading.

I originally read it as a bestseller, but after reading it I found it to be a useful book. A book that makes people reflect. The only thing I don't understand is that the article mentions many times the impact of mothers on their children's mental health. I don't feel the same way about this. Other descriptions resonate with me

A word that touches the heart. Most of the words in the book are more in line with my heart. I hope that the child in my heart can be seen and accepted. I want to say that you are actually very good, but you don't know it. You are not that bad, you are not inferior, your needs deserve to be respected, you deserve to be loved, and you should learn to love others. And you are just an ordinary person, I admit it, and I accept it. Stop binding yourself to society's standards, stop comparing yourself to others, I can be imperfect, I can be sensitive, I can be emotional, I can have many, many shortcomings, but so what? I should have my own position and establish my own boundaries. I should be able to express my opinions and opinions freely. Maybe there can be less "I should", maybe "I can stop setting limits on myself", maybe "I can stop trying to please others", maybe "I can stop being so internally consumed". Your own feelings are the most important, you can be happy however you want, but there is always a limit to everything, and you can't go too far. Others are others, I am me. We cannot impose our ideas on others. Sometimes we can show weakness appropriately and seek help from others, which may be much better. Believe in yourself and love yourself, because you are worth it, inner child! Because I deserve to be treated well by this world! Please stop internal friction in the remaining time and don't care too much about other people's opinions, because I believe in you, and in my heart you are the best. For the rest of my life, please give me your advice! [Blowing kiss] The following are excerpts from the book, which I find quite healing. I want to encourage everyone! Dealing with people is not a test of our abilities, but ordinary communication and interaction. You need to change the way you see yourself and figure out your relationship with the world. Learn to be responsible for yourself. No matter what the external environment is, the first person you have to please is yourself. Facing your own needs is a kind of justice. Don't be afraid of conflict, we just communicate as equals and express our own opinions. I want to live for myself and I want to express my position and opinions. If you don't want to do it, say no! I can also say "no". Be a person with a bottom line and principles, and you will not be held hostage by your inner fears. In the final analysis, people have to fulfill themselves. If you insist on trying to please society, the only one who will suffer is yourself. You need to get rid of the illusion of relying on others in your heart, because relying on others means despising yourself. Others are others, you are you. The reason is that we pay too much attention to others and too little to ourselves, or we are always looking at ourselves in other people's coordinate system. Note: 2024.11.5

The author's writing is practical and easy to understand. I read this book with my own psychological problems. After reading it, I saw from the content of the book what my problems were and the reasons for them. I also learned some ways to solve my own problems, and I was slowly changing, getting rid of the psychological problems that troubled me.

The first few chapters touched me a lot, allowing me to better understand myself, my strengths and weaknesses, and how to deal with internal and external conflicts. It can be said that I have benefited a lot, and I will try it again in a while!

One of the most inspiring books of its kind I have read. The period of inner struggle and pain began. I originally had the mentality of flipping through the book, but I didn't expect to finish reading it sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph. The author's writing style is delicate and tolerant, like a gentle and intimate friend, patiently guiding me, so I slowly calmed down and felt the gathering of energy. Awareness is healing. May those of us who are still struggling find our own "core" without haste and live out the color of our lives.

This book is very good and worth recommending. We must learn to care about ourselves and love ourselves. The more we do this, the faster we can get over grief, grow and become stronger. People with low self-esteem will become more and more confident after reading this book. We need to understand ourselves. Don't care too much about other people's feelings. It's so well written and worth recommending. 👍👍👍

There is a sentence that subverts my understanding: sadness and vulnerability are never antonyms for strength. Because the strength of one's own sadness is the elastic strength and the true strength. Let me stop running away from sadness and vulnerability! Good book, very helpful for self-growth! After reading this, I decided not to pursue success in the worldly sense, but to listen to the true voice of my heart! Start loving yourself and face your own needs from now on!

The psychological knowledge in this book is explained with examples. The whole book is easy to understand and seems effortless. It involves a lot of knowledge, but it mainly revolves around how to truly accept yourself and strengthen your heart. I really like a point of view in it: "Psychological knowledge is for understanding rather than judging." Recommended reading.

It is so well written, and it clearly explains several common psychological problems in life. I have benefited a lot. What I feel most deeply is that I need to recognize myself, accept myself and change myself.

Every point written in this book made me feel a twitch in my heart. I don't know why it can be written so accurately. It made me understand the deep meaning of many of my actions. I need to know myself, affirm myself, learn to love myself, and complete myself.

It tells about many big and small problems that occur in each of our daily lives. The author uses a patient tone to tell us the sources, causes and solutions of the problems. Very touching, and it also made me love myself more and know how to put myself first [Like][Like]

After reading part of it, I thought it was very exciting, and I will continue to pursue it. In fact, we are the kind of people the author said. We want to express ourselves, but we are afraid that we can't speak well or do well, so we don't dare to express ourselves. Every time we express, we worry too much about our abilities. What are we afraid of? Be brave and be yourself. Only by jumping out can we become our true selves.

Very good, very well written. After reading it, I also discovered some problems in myself. I was originally a patient with depression, but I basically recovered after reading these books. I hope that friends with related problems can also get out of the predicament, embrace real life, and embrace a better life.

A very good book, it is very helpful for self-understanding and growth. If you want to know more about yourself and face yourself, you can read this book. It is highly recommended.