When I Meet Someone: the Mother-Infant Relationship Determines All Relationships with the Child

This is a parenting book. The whole book focuses on the parent-child relationship. This book talks about five aspects: awareness, attitude, relationship, internal and external. Some of the author's concepts in the book may subvert traditional cognition. Love your child "as he is" rather than "as I wish". Rules must be based on respect for feelings. In family relationships, the most common relationship patterns are lack of boundaries and control over each other. Seeing is the beginning of healing. When you love your children, don't have a power intention. I think this book is worth reading a second or third time.

Just like what is said in the book, "Love your child 'as he is' rather than 'as I wish'", we should respect the natural development of children. This reminds me of "Summerhill School", which also emphasizes giving children freedom and respect. I think Li Xue is like Neil from Summerhill School, full of understanding and care for children. Her words are like warm sunshine, giving people strength and hope.

This book really helped me a lot, and I'm very grateful to the author. My experiences as a child, through adolescence, and now in my early twenties. Occasionally a voice in my heart will jump out and say, I shouldn't be like this, why can't I feel myself. There is a lot of resentment towards parents, especially the mother. But I really didn't know what to do at that time. After experiencing some things this year, all the pent-up emotions burst out and completely defeated me. I started to save myself, stumbling around looking for a solution, and finally came across this book. At the beginning, I slowly "cultivated" as mentioned in the book. I only managed the surface. I tried my best to understand in my heart, but it was difficult to change and it always felt unreal. In this way, I came across this book through "The System Forcibly Replenishes My Qi and Blood" and gave me the method. Thank you very much!

A scary but factual point of view is that parents who had a gloomy childhood will pass on psychological trauma to their children. No matter how much they consciously hope that their children will no longer suffer, the subconscious mind is always creating the same trap. From the time a child is born to a healthy and happy adult, the care he receives during his growth must coincide with the laws of natural development. The mother-infant relationship determines the starting point of life. Children learn and grow by internalizing the emotional relationship with their parents. The relationship patterns in childhood are closely related to career, marriage, parenting, etc. When they grow up.

Love is "as he is", not "as I wish". In addition to the parent-child relationship, some of the concepts in the book are also applicable to other relationships. Don't judge, don't interfere, don't defend what I think is right, give respect, don't control. I feel that the concept of this book is more about "doing nothing", but I don't know if children can really understand it on their own, after all, I have never raised one. There are also problems that are attributed to the parent-child relationship. It seems that all psychological problems occur because children were not treated correctly by their caregivers when they were young. But in fact, our parents are just ordinary people, and they also make mistakes. They did not have access to and learn from these things at that time, so they could only treat us in the way they thought was right. It was not their fault. Since we can realize this as adults, we can't just blame, but learn how to reconcile ourselves and how to make up for the shortcomings in our hearts. When I was young, I would be obsessed with "being seen", hoping that my parents and partners could "see" me. However, in recent years, as I have reached middle age, I seem to feel that these are not important anymore. What kind of person I am, I can see myself. It seems that I no longer need others, including my family, to see me. If I can be self-sufficient and self-consistent, I think I will live a pretty good life.

Recommended for parents to read. During the reading process, I have been reflecting on myself. When raising children, educate yourself first. Children's childhood is extremely precious. Through reading, you can improve your own cognition, reflect on your habitual thinking, be a mentor and helpful friend on your children's growth journey, grow together, and feel the beauty of time and life together.

I am honored to read Teacher Li's book. I am 28 years old. After college, I have worked and played for one year. I don't want to work at all. High wages cannot bring happiness, and I love hoarding things. Nor can one treat money correctly. When I'm not working, I just lie in bed and read novels, and I don't have to go out for weeks or months. After reading this book, I will have a clearer understanding of the trauma in my heart, and then I will be better able to deal with it. Soothe yourself and heal the wounds. Thank you very much, Teacher Li

A child is a gift and a responsibility for a mother. From the moment he is born, parents have to bear the responsibility of raising and teaching him. This book explains to us various infant behaviors from a scientific perspective. The author mentioned that when babies develop the most basic trust in the world, they will not want to destroy everything when encountering setbacks in the future. The most serious personality disorders and mental illnesses such as serial killers and schizophrenia all have a severely damaged psychological foundation of "omnipotent narcissism". It can be seen that the teaching of children is very important.

The growth experience between a mother and her child is a special and profound relationship, which plays an important role in the growth of the child and the shaping of the mother's role. A mother goes through a special journey from pregnancy to delivery. During this time, mother and child develop a unique bond, and the mother undergoes physical and emotional changes. The experience not only has an impact on the mother's body, but also on the emotional bond between mother and child. Mothers may face various challenges as their children grow up. As children age, mothers may need to adapt to different stages of growth and changing needs.

Parents don't need to be perfect, but they need to be honest.

Loving children means "as they are" rather than "as I wish"; loving children is also a process of healing the "inner child" of parents. This is a book that analyzes the original family from a psychological perspective and establishes a correct parent-child relationship. The author has a unique perspective. It is true that everything a child experiences as a child will be affected in love, marriage, work, interpersonal relationships, etc. When they grow up. So let him grow up as he is, let go of our constraints on them, and let them have a better life for themselves.

The younger the child, the more significant the impact the relationship with his caregiver will have on his or her life; the more severe the psychological trauma, the more likely it is to occur early in life. A mother works hard for two years through intimate parenting in infancy, but in exchange for her child's lifelong sense of security and foundation of happiness. In the process of spiritual growth, the most difficult thing to heal is the trauma in the mother-infant relationship. If a baby learns to be strong and independent in loneliness, such as learning to fall asleep and self-soothe prematurely, his life will be lonely and gloomy. The deepest pain can appear in various incomprehensible forms, such as having a successful career as an adult and a harmonious couple, but not experiencing the intimacy and happiness that comes from the heart.

In the process of taking care of my baby full-time, I often re-experience the beauty of the world through the perspective of my baby, and through the connection with my baby, I see myself as a child. The process of raising a baby is indeed full of challenges, but I am glad that my happy and beautiful childhood allows me to see the innocent and beautiful self of my childhood in the process of getting along with my baby. , These allow me to quickly adjust my state when facing the challenge of raising children, allowing me to grow quickly. These are my experiences and feelings. When I read this book, my experiences were all shown in the author's writing, which gave me a new perspective on this experience, allowing me to see myself more clearly, and full of hope for my future.

I am a new mother. After reading the book When I Met Someone, I realized that raising children not only provides material foundation, but also the spiritual aspect may be more important. Instead of judging traditional Chinese parents to restrict their children, open-minded parents may give their children more freedom and allow them to deeply understand their own existence.

I was deeply inspired and felt that I had made too many mistakes. Combined with teacher Zhang Defen's "Meeting the Unknown Self" and some of the concepts of the currently popular teacher Lin Ju, they all coincided with Li Xue. When it comes to educating children, we all listen to others. Combined with my own experience growing up as a child, many people around me have wrong ideas, but we don't know it.

It's very inspiring. Raise your child like a plant. Give him what he needs in time. Don't impose external restrictions or pressure on him. Let him grow according to his own will. The child will naturally grow into a rich and free person.

Many of our unworthiness and unhappiness may come from childhood experiences. This book can teach us how to get rid of ourselves, and it can also remind us not to use the wrong method to deprive our children of their happiness. Families with abundant material resources may also raise children with inner poverty. I hope everyone who reads this book can help themselves and their children live a prosperous life.

It's a pretty good book that parents can calm down and read.

A book worth reading again and again

It's very good and insightful. Not only children, parents as children can also see themselves.

A great book that everyone should read again and again!

A very good book, follow your heart, feel yourself, understand yourself, and love yourself well

Very good, I like it very much

Good, good, very good

Second brush, it's really good!

The sound is magnetic when I read it, which is great!

I don't understand the content in the book, and I'm still a little confused. I still need to continue learning and exploring.

Many questions in life have been answered in books

The content of this book gave me different ideas

It helped me understand myself well and how to get along with my children. Personally, I feel that not only parents, but everyone should come and take a look when they have time.