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After reading this book, I took a look at myself. Well, I am a good mother. I also treat my children with mutual respect and love. My child is 15 years old and is like a sister to me. Although his grades are average, he has a well-behaved personality and is not rebellious. As long as he is healthy and happy in body and mind!

After reading it, I finally understood the meaning of the sentence "your child is not your child". Parents and children are independent individuals, but you both have a parent-child relationship. Our society has tied "parents" and "children" too tightly, which is too heavy. 🔓

All parents should read every story in this book carefully. Except for special cases, basically every parent loves their children, but it is precisely because of this love that many parents lose their rationality and control as expected. Parents with strong desires ignore that their children are also independent individuals with their own thoughts and hobbies, and they should also be respected. They cannot think that I am doing this for his own good, and children who are kidnapped by morality must obey their arrangements, which leads to many tragedies.

Very good! After reading this book, I have been reflecting on whether I am an enlightened mother. Asking myself, I should be relatively open-minded, because I have not cared much about my daughter's grades since she was a child. I pay more attention to her learning ability and interest. Fortunately, my daughter is very conscious about her studies and has never made me worry. I am very pleased that her grades have always been among the best in elementary school. But I am also a very emotional person. When I am in a bad mood, I don't care about my daughter's feelings. Instead, I let my daughter understand me. Over the years, she has rarely disobeyed me. I don't know if I am also a domineering mother in her heart! I just hope that those unpleasant moments will not put a psychological burden on her and make her hate me for the rest of her life! Every mother has more or less flaws, but she all hopes to be the perfect mother. Everyone hopes that their children will have a smooth life in the future, avoid detours and not worry about life.

Parent-child relationship There is really no real empathy. The biggest feeling this book gives me is that we really need to communicate in a timely manner, listen to each other's words on the basis of mutual respect, and take measures that are acceptable to both parties. Don't be afraid of hurt. We all know that parents don't want to hurt their children, and children don't want to hurt their parents. But just like teeth can accidentally bite their tongues, no matter how close they are, it will still hurt them. Therefore, if parents or children feel that the other person is hurting themselves, they should speak up in time and don't be afraid of this kind of harm, because this kind of harm is to avoid greater harm in the future. Don't map yourself onto each other. Both parents and children are independent individuals. We are closely connected by blood ties, but at the same time we exist alone. Children should not be the way for parents to make up for their shortcomings, and parents should not become "satellites" that only revolve around their children. This book also made me realize that it is actually very difficult to be a perfect parent or a qualified parent. People are creatures with emotions, and it is impossible to make things truly perfect. Therefore, when dealing with parent-child issues, one should have greater tolerance and patience. In addition, the social atmosphere will also affect the resolution of the parent-child relationship. There is too much to say. Really, I can't explain it at the moment.

At the beginning, all we wanted was for our children to be healthy and happy. In the end, our expectations expanded without limit, and the damage was inevitable. We also lost the original intention of gazing at our children. At a certain moment, we were satisfied just by touching the soft palms of our children.

This book gave me a lot of new perspectives. Empathy is the most important thing. While expressing our own demands, we should also try to understand our parents' thoughts. I really like the author's words in the book: We often say that children are independent individuals, but are parents also independent individuals? Before you really come into contact with society, you may always feel that your parents are pointing fingers and interfering in your life choices, and that your parents are always against you. But when one day you truly stand in the position of a parent, when you also become a parent, what will you choose? Will you do better than your parents? At the same time, what should we do when facing the opposition of our parents? I thought about it, and I think we should strengthen our confidence, firm our choices, and be responsible for the choices we make after carefully thinking about them. This is true independence, and it is also a feedback from your parents for raising you over the years, letting them know that their once-infant children have grown up and can truly understand what responsibility is, instead of those who grow up claiming to be independent. After reading this book, I thought that education, separately speaking, is education and education. What teaches children is their knowledge and learning ability, and what educates children is their morality and how to become adults. Of course, education is not limited to schools. I am very happy that I have gained another meaningful book. January 16, 2023 at 9:51 pm.

Great story telling. . . I reflect on myself after reading every story. I don't have a high degree of education, but I will try my best to let my children learn and grow in health and happiness. I will try my best not to be condescending to my children, respect them, and control my emotions.

The author said, I spent eight years opening doors one after another and witnessing stories happening in one home after another. In these stories, some people firmly believe that their daughter has ADHD until she actually suffers from ADHD; some secretly hope that her father will come to her and say to her, good daughter, you have worked hard; some have deep secrets, but can only hide in the closet. After the author finished describing these 9 stories, she said, I walked into their lives and was amazed every step I took. I hope this book can bring this feeling to everyone who reads him.

Reading this book has benefited me a lot. Being a parent is a mirror for your child. Your words and deeds will affect your child's every move. It is easy for parents to give birth to children, but it is difficult to educate children well. Children are learning, and parents must learn too. When I saw Jasmine, Xiaoye, and grandma in the article, I was reminded of my mother's twisted educational creed of "a filial son emerges from a stick." As a result, when I was a child, if I could not meet my mother's requirements, I would be whipped at any time. I grew up in a nervous and anxious environment, so that now I am not confident, independent, nervous, and timid. I think I can no longer adopt my mother's rude educational creed and let my children go the way I came.

This book touched me very much and reminded me of some of my own experiences as a child. Sometimes our parents have really high expectations for us, but in fact we also have our own ideas. As the book says, we are independent individuals with our own thoughts and souls. I think we should communicate more with our parents and let them understand our true thoughts so that we can get along better. Although reading this book will make people feel confused, it can make us think more deeply about the parent-child relationship.

I am a mother who has been learning and exploring how to better educate my children. This book gave me a new perspective. Very nice! Very insightful. Children and parents also need two-way understanding and commitment. Not only make peace with your children, but also make peace with yourself. Everyone has points of hypocrisy and entanglement. Only when we are less hypocritical and entangled, and less complaining and prevaricating, can our children grow up normally. Our relationship with our parents and the social environment are also role models for our children. Very good book!

The content was touching and immersive, and it made me think deeply about my parents and myself when I was young. There were ups and downs during this period, and there were constant stories. In the end, I failed to meet my parents' expectations. They just hoped that I could finish school smoothly, but I couldn't even achieve such a request. I was very disappointed, and they were very sad.

I was really touched after reading it. After reading the stories in the book, it also warned me not to be a mother who overexerts herself in the future education of my children. The author unfolds the stories of nine families for readers as a tutor. The mothers in the story have different images. The children in the book all have sad souls. The kid wasn't stupid or slow, he was just a scared kid. My mother interfered too much in my studies. In front of my tutor, she would beat me if I made a mistake in a question. She would even beat and scold me if my score was not satisfactory.

As one of the tutors of the boy with spectacles, the author always adheres to the non-violent teaching method. She witnessed and even felt the desperate situation of the boy with spectacles. She once wanted to stand up to protect the boy with spectacles when his mother beat him and scolded him, but in the end she chose to resign and escape from this suffocating family that she was unable to change. When such a true story unfolded in front of me, I felt a deep sense of powerlessness and tingling pain. As an educator, when communicating with parents on a daily basis, I often encounter situations where the ideas are inconsistent and I am unable to persuade and change. Just imagine if I were the author and the glasses boy was my student, would I make a different decision than the author? The answer is no. I couldn't bear it and ran away. At the same time, I was filled with guilt and didn't want to think about it. Perhaps faced with such a powerless situation, the only thing I can do is to do my best and accept the reality at the same time.

Every story is very touching and can make people take in themselves. I can always find a reflection of myself in the characters. As I get older, I gradually transform from a child to an adult. I can begin to understand why my parents did what they did, but it's still hard to let go. Sometimes the violence of actions is far less profound than the violence of words. The memory of being beaten has gradually become blurred, while the violence of words is still lingering in my heart. I want to say something that may be difficult to say to your parents. No matter how angry you are, don't say it easily that you shouldn't have been born. In short, this book can be regarded as a sustenance for me. I hope everyone who reads this book can get what they want and get some inspiration from it.

Sometimes I am confused about my role as a mother. I want to get along with him and become close friends, but I am also afraid that he does not know how to respect his elders and does not care about my feelings and emotions. In the end, I complain about why I am not stricter with him than other mothers, so that he will not be so willful. In fact, I have always told him to have the courage to express his thoughts, otherwise how will others know? I am also a first-time mother and I have to learn too! Let's just say that it was painful to grow up with him... It turns out that there are so many people in this world who want to survive against the clock, but some people want to leave without hesitation, without a trace of nostalgia...

The author wrote down several representative families she met from the perspective of tutoring. She did not write down the final endings of each child's life. She mainly wanted to arouse everyone's thinking and reflection on parent-child relationships and family education. I saw the ninth story and felt that I was a bit similar. The author said, "In the mother's mind, as long as the children express their opinions when a decision is made, the parents will meet the conditions of "democracy." This also implies a danger that the mother believes that she does not have to listen carefully to the opinions of her children." It really accurately describes the mentality of parents after I had a disagreement with my parents when I was a child. In my impression, I expressed my opinion, but my opinion was not important, and I gave a high-sounding reason. The real purpose was to let me adopt their opinion and do it. This is a kind of soft coercion, which is difficult or even impossible to resist, and it is uncomfortable. The title of the book is Your Child is Not Your Child. I think what the author wants to express is that although parents have given the body a physical body, the child is independent and the soul is equally important. He or she needs to be respected.

After reading this book, I realized the pain in my heart, and from these family education stories, I saw the harm I had done to my children and the torture I had caused myself. My original intention of bringing my child into this world is to hope that he can experience life well and grow up happily and healthily! Since then, I have set conditions for my love for him: I have to do certain things before I can love him. When I can't do it, I sneer at him, torture him, ridicule him, and bully him with the most embarrassing words. I am really a terrible mother. As I write this, I can't help but burst into tears, hoping that everything can be fixed in time.

As a mother, I deeply understand the self-contradiction of the mother's role. This contradiction not only hurts the child externally, but also hurts herself internally. This contradiction is that based on our role and responsibilities as mothers, we love our children deeply. We not only hope that our children can be healthy and happy, but also hope that our children can get good grades, go to a good school, have a decent and high-paying job, and live a relaxed and comfortable life. These two hopes are in conflict with each other for the child. The mother has to make decisions and balances for the child and take on the responsibility of upbringing. This creates a conflict between the child and the parents. As the child grows up and the child awakens, they hope to make decisions for themselves. However, the mother is not aware of this problem and still makes her own decisions. The conflict becomes deeper and deeper. As for how to solve it, it requires joint efforts between parents and children, and there is no fixed answer. Parenting is an eternal topic. Different eras and backgrounds require different parenting methods. Keeping pace with the times is also a required course for mothers.

Your child is not your child, he is a free individual. Think about the original intention of bringing the child, which is to hope that he will be happy and healthy. I have to review this mood often and control myself from being that monster

Mother is really important. If she cannot exist as an individual person and only acts as a mother, then for society, the loss will not be just a "person"

On the road of seeking knowledge, parents, children and society need to participate together. We all hope that our children will be excellent, talented and virtuous. I hope my child can thrive and grow from a small sapling into a big tree [OK][OK][OK]

No family can copy another family. Each individual is an independent existence. We cannot ask parents to be like other people's parents. Likewise, we cannot ask our children to become an excellent student. Since I can remember, I know that making yourself happy is a very rare and difficult thing. So I just hope that my child can grow up healthy and happy. I will be her confidence and support, allowing her to see more and see more of this vast world. Don't be in a hurry to learn. If you like to learn, then learn well. If you don't like to learn, then do what you like. Don't impose it on her. I will try my best to be a very good mother.

Children come into this world as independent individuals. Parents, as life mentors, fulfill their responsibilities of guidance and spend more time letting their children grow up naturally facing the sun (don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you).

So well written! Every story is a bloody page and thought-provoking. Children and parents are bound too much. I want to buy a physical book and put it on my bedside to remind me: My child, I wish you health and happiness!

Born in 1996, male I originally had some inexplicable resistance to marriage and children. Why should I get married? So what if you don't get married? How to lead if you have children? Can I be a good son, husband, and father all at the same time? But after reading this book, I seem to have a vague clue. Maybe it's because I don't have enough life experience that I can't figure it out.

"Your children are borrowed from you, but not from you. Although they are with you, they do not belong to you." The parent-child relationship has always been a topic that society is keen to discuss. Most parents are parents for the first time, and they are all stumbling to get along with their children. This book collects nine stories between parents and children. The author recorded his own experiences, observing each family from an outsider's perspective, and examining the relationship between parents and children.

The writing is very good. As a mother, I feel deeply. Isn't our original intention of loving our children just to be healthy and happy? When there are more and more expectations from the outside world, our pressure is also increasing. They are under more pressure than we are.

In the book, I saw not only my childhood, but also who I was as a parent. Children are not accessories to their parents. If you love your children, you must let them be themselves.