Livestreaming the Three Kingdoms: As Emperor Xian of Han, I’ll Claim Diao Chan First

Political scheming + goofy humor + original characters + weak System.

Diaochan: Between me and Xiao Qiao, you can only choose both.

Emperor Xian of Han: I swear, if I break my vow, may the heavens strike me with five thunderbolts and blast my big brother to pieces.

Liu Bei: How did I become the emperor's nephew?

Guan Yu: I'm willing to acknowledge Liu Xie as my big brother.

Zhang Fei: Same here.

Dong Zhuo: Why have they hit me with another sowing-dissension scheme and chain plot? I want to use the beauty trap!

Lü Bu: Something feels like it's missing.

Emperor Xian of Han: It's not Diaochan. Really.

Cao Cao: I'm not going to Xuchang. I'm afraid the emperor will use me as a hostage.

Immortal Nanhua: One misstep leads to a century of regret. And when I look back, I misstep again.

Zhuge Liang: Lend me an east wind.

The east wind: No.

Sima: I have never seen an emperor so shameless.