Great Tang: You Didn't Expect This, Son-in-Law, but I'm Really Li Er

My name is Li Bai: Li as in Li Bai, Bai as in Li Bai. My courtesy name is Taihei, a name my mother-in-law gave me. I wanted to be a great poet, the kind who could write three hundred Tang poems. Ever since I picked up a little wife, my comfortable life as a rich man has changed. My mother-in-law thinks I'm handsome and wants to have a heart-to-heart, while my father-in-law, Old Li, keeps trying to sneak up and knock me out. There's also a whole crowd lining up outside my house every day. Old Sun sends a calling card today, Old Fang sends one tomorrow. It's driving me crazy. I said, “The Son of Heaven guards the gates of the realm, and the king dies with the state.” Then my father-in-law told me the Tibetans had put a price on my head. They want to take me out. My life is so hard! (New book: ten thousand words every day in January!)