This book proposes the concept of "emotional abuse" for the first time. It widely occurs in marriages, families and workplaces. The abuser bullies and controls the abused by refusing direct communication, distorting words, sarcasm, ridicule, contempt, denying personality and other common methods, destroying their self-esteem, changing their way of thinking, making the relationship continue, and making it impossible for the abused to escape. This type of cold violence is not as obvious as physical violence. It will only make the abused feel miserable and unable to speak out, and they will blindly reflect on whether they have done something wrong.
Yrigoyan discusses emotional abuse at home and in the workplace, the different stages of emotional abuse, the abuser's main tactics, and provides a detailed analysis from the perspective of both the abuser and the abused. She then sheds light on the short- and long-term consequences of emotional abuse and provides recommendations for dealing with it in the home and in the workplace.
Reader comments
It is very vivid. Violence does not have to be physical. Voice attacks are more harmful than fists. Mental suppression can make the victim lose himself, have self-doubt, and even have a mental breakdown.
Through psychological abuse, one person really has the potential to destroy another person, and it would not be an exaggeration to call it "psychic murder"...
Very good. Unlike other books on psychology, which have many professional terms and are difficult to understand. This book lists many examples to help you understand what cold violence is, determine whether you are experiencing or have been subjected to cold violence, and analyze it from the perspective of the victim and the abuser. It is very good. After reading it, I want to say
I hope that everyone will be brave and learn to protect themselves. I also hope that the world can have a little more love (even just a little bit) and that someone can stand up and help the abused. In fact, sometimes a third party appears to help the abused for a little while, and the cold violence will not continue or deepen. Human nature is too indifferent. We should all be flesh and blood and emotional people.
May there be more love and less harm in this world
I personally feel that this book focuses on analyzing and explaining the factors and formation process of mental abuse. As someone who doesn't know much about psychology, it will be of great help in how to identify mental abuse. Good information [heartfelt]
Cold violence is a type of violence that manifests itself through indifference, contempt, laissez-faire, alienation and indifference, causing other people to be mentally and psychologically violated and harmed. Cold violence is a behavior that is currently recognized by society as causing psychological and mental harm to the person doing the behavior. This book proposes the concept of "emotional abuse" for the first time. It widely occurs in marriages, families and workplaces. The abuser bullies and controls the abused by refusing direct communication, distorting words, sarcasm, ridicule, contempt, denying personality and other common methods, destroying their self-esteem, changing their way of thinking, making the relationship continue, and making it impossible for the abused to escape.
Cold violence is a fine tradition in China that has been passed down to this day.
This book talks about a concept called "emotional abuse". The abuser bullies others through non-communication, sarcasm, ridicule, etc., Just like PUA, destroying the self-esteem of the abused, changing his way of thinking, and then allowing the abused to live according to the abuser's way without being able to escape. Sometimes mental abuse is really more terrifying than physical abuse. It makes people feel devastated and very painful. They constantly reflect on what they have done wrong. After reading this book, I really see the hidden essence of many people's discourse systems. I also understand better how to treat what others say, stay away from mental internal friction, and reject mental abuse.
This is a book that reveals hidden forms of violence in relationships. Through rhetorical techniques such as metaphor and parallelism, the author deeply explores the negative impact of cold violence on individuals and society. This book reveals the definition, manifestations and impact of cold violence through real cases and psychological theories. The author calls on readers to pay attention to and value the issue of cold violence, and advocates a warm, respectful and understanding way of interpersonal communication. During the reading process, readers can recognize the existence and harm of cold violence, think about whether they have similar behaviors in interpersonal relationships, and learn how to improve the way they interact with others and build healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
Yes, I was mentally abused. After reading it, I found that the author shared his experience. Although he did not talk about campus abusers, the concept of abuse and the feelings it gave me were the same. If there is a friend who is deeply involved in it, we must record it, keep the evidence, and then fight back and stay away from the abuser.
"In order to satisfy their endless need for admiration and recognition, this kind of person must maintain his self-esteem by belittling others and then gain power."
In recent years, mental abuse, PUA, gaslighting, etc. Have gradually become known with the emergence of some public incidents, and people have become aware of the dangers of mental violence. Unexpectedly, I discovered that the author of this book was the first person to propose the concept of mental abuse. As the title of the book indicates, mental abuse is often accompanied by cold violence, and deliberate cold violence is often the abuser's attempt to gain his own value by belittling the other person. Recognizing mental abuse and its harm will help us protect ourselves.
This is a book that reveals hidden forms of violence in relationships. Through rhetorical techniques such as metaphor and parallelism, the author deeply explores the negative impact of cold violence on individuals and society. This book reveals the definition, manifestations and impact of cold violence through real cases and psychological theories. The author calls on readers to pay attention to and value the issue of cold violence, and advocates a warm, respectful and understanding way of interpersonal communication. During the reading process, readers can recognize the existence and harm of cold violence, think about whether they have similar behaviors in interpersonal relationships, and learn how to improve the way they interact with others and build healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
This book published in 1998 first proposed the concept of "mental abuse" in the world. As a famous French psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, the author used his rich clinical experience to describe the phenomenon of "cold violence" in marriage, family and workplace. Today, we will find that mental abuse is very common in society. This usually manifests as isolation and contempt, attack and alienation, verbal framing, etc. In schools, families, and workplaces. It is a form of soft violence that is different from physical beatings. For readers who want to understand emotional abuse, this book is an absolute must-read.
It's really well written. This kind of hidden problem can cause more trauma to people than physical violence.
But there is usually no perfect victim in this kind of thing.
Must save oneself
When it comes to others, let go of helping others and respect their fate.
His thoughts were worthy of his sufferings
It's a very good book. It's well translated. There's no nonsense in the book, so I kept underlining [making faces]. Combining my personal growth experience, family and workplace experience, I thought and analyzed the "abusers" I came into contact with while reading, and analyzed myself and the "abused people" around me. As I read, I lamented who is saying that the working environment in foreign countries and foreign companies is good? This foreign author can write about mental abuse so well, doesn't it prove that these foreigners are difficult to deal with [laughs]
The author's analysis of various abuse techniques and reactions after abuse is relatively comprehensive, but the final part on how to solve the problem is a bit sparse. I feel that the book "Emotional Blackmail" I recently read provides many methods on how to change. The two books can be combined to read [laughs]
I gained something from reading it and am happy [laughs]
Discovered that I was the abused one in my family
I cried while watching it. My parents have a bad relationship and love to quarrel. My father has been absent from the family relationship for a long time. This is a kind of violence to me. When I grew up, I inherited the ability of violence from my parents and I was cold-blooded towards my parents. And because I went to school for a few more years, I realized this, but I didn't have the ability to change it, and I even suffered from being stuck in it.
The full picture is unknown and no comments will be made. I selected some of them and sent them to my family. My mother responded with a blank look🙄. I experienced a similar feeling in the book, which made me want to continue reading. The narrative is not procrastinating and the academic terms are more obvious. I hope it can help me.
This book really resonated with me, especially when looking for a job and encountering some not-so-friendly people. The methods and consequences of mental abuse mentioned in the book are really terrible. It reminds me of an interviewer I met before. He always asked questions in a sarcastic tone, which made me feel worthless. But this book also gave me some advice on how to deal with such situations. I think this is a very practical book and recommend it to everyone!
A book full of wisdom, worth absorbing
Clear logic, strong language expression skills, rich clinical experience, and empathy
It is very vivid. Violence does not have to be physical. Voice attacks are more harmful than fists. Mental suppression can make the victim lose himself, have self-doubt, and even have a mental breakdown.
Through psychological abuse, one person really has the potential to destroy another person, and it would not be an exaggeration to call it "psychic murder"...
Very good. Unlike other books on psychology, which have many professional terms and are difficult to understand. This book lists many examples to help you understand what cold violence is, determine whether you are experiencing or have been subjected to cold violence, and analyze it from the perspective of the victim and the abuser. It is very good. After reading it, I want to say I hope that everyone will be brave and learn to protect themselves. I also hope that the world can have a little more love (even just a little bit) and that someone can stand up and help the abused. In fact, sometimes a third party appears to help the abused for a little while, and the cold violence will not continue or deepen. Human nature is too indifferent. We should all be flesh and blood and emotional people. May there be more love and less harm in this world
I personally feel that this book focuses on analyzing and explaining the factors and formation process of mental abuse. As someone who doesn't know much about psychology, it will be of great help in how to identify mental abuse. Good information [heartfelt]
Cold violence is a type of violence that manifests itself through indifference, contempt, laissez-faire, alienation and indifference, causing other people to be mentally and psychologically violated and harmed. Cold violence is a behavior that is currently recognized by society as causing psychological and mental harm to the person doing the behavior. This book proposes the concept of "emotional abuse" for the first time. It widely occurs in marriages, families and workplaces. The abuser bullies and controls the abused by refusing direct communication, distorting words, sarcasm, ridicule, contempt, denying personality and other common methods, destroying their self-esteem, changing their way of thinking, making the relationship continue, and making it impossible for the abused to escape.
Cold violence is a fine tradition in China that has been passed down to this day.
This book talks about a concept called "emotional abuse". The abuser bullies others through non-communication, sarcasm, ridicule, etc., Just like PUA, destroying the self-esteem of the abused, changing his way of thinking, and then allowing the abused to live according to the abuser's way without being able to escape. Sometimes mental abuse is really more terrifying than physical abuse. It makes people feel devastated and very painful. They constantly reflect on what they have done wrong. After reading this book, I really see the hidden essence of many people's discourse systems. I also understand better how to treat what others say, stay away from mental internal friction, and reject mental abuse.
This is a book that reveals hidden forms of violence in relationships. Through rhetorical techniques such as metaphor and parallelism, the author deeply explores the negative impact of cold violence on individuals and society. This book reveals the definition, manifestations and impact of cold violence through real cases and psychological theories. The author calls on readers to pay attention to and value the issue of cold violence, and advocates a warm, respectful and understanding way of interpersonal communication. During the reading process, readers can recognize the existence and harm of cold violence, think about whether they have similar behaviors in interpersonal relationships, and learn how to improve the way they interact with others and build healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
Yes, I was mentally abused. After reading it, I found that the author shared his experience. Although he did not talk about campus abusers, the concept of abuse and the feelings it gave me were the same. If there is a friend who is deeply involved in it, we must record it, keep the evidence, and then fight back and stay away from the abuser.
"In order to satisfy their endless need for admiration and recognition, this kind of person must maintain his self-esteem by belittling others and then gain power." In recent years, mental abuse, PUA, gaslighting, etc. Have gradually become known with the emergence of some public incidents, and people have become aware of the dangers of mental violence. Unexpectedly, I discovered that the author of this book was the first person to propose the concept of mental abuse. As the title of the book indicates, mental abuse is often accompanied by cold violence, and deliberate cold violence is often the abuser's attempt to gain his own value by belittling the other person. Recognizing mental abuse and its harm will help us protect ourselves.
This is a book that reveals hidden forms of violence in relationships. Through rhetorical techniques such as metaphor and parallelism, the author deeply explores the negative impact of cold violence on individuals and society. This book reveals the definition, manifestations and impact of cold violence through real cases and psychological theories. The author calls on readers to pay attention to and value the issue of cold violence, and advocates a warm, respectful and understanding way of interpersonal communication. During the reading process, readers can recognize the existence and harm of cold violence, think about whether they have similar behaviors in interpersonal relationships, and learn how to improve the way they interact with others and build healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
This book published in 1998 first proposed the concept of "mental abuse" in the world. As a famous French psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, the author used his rich clinical experience to describe the phenomenon of "cold violence" in marriage, family and workplace. Today, we will find that mental abuse is very common in society. This usually manifests as isolation and contempt, attack and alienation, verbal framing, etc. In schools, families, and workplaces. It is a form of soft violence that is different from physical beatings. For readers who want to understand emotional abuse, this book is an absolute must-read.
It's really well written. This kind of hidden problem can cause more trauma to people than physical violence. But there is usually no perfect victim in this kind of thing. Must save oneself When it comes to others, let go of helping others and respect their fate. His thoughts were worthy of his sufferings
It's a very good book. It's well translated. There's no nonsense in the book, so I kept underlining [making faces]. Combining my personal growth experience, family and workplace experience, I thought and analyzed the "abusers" I came into contact with while reading, and analyzed myself and the "abused people" around me. As I read, I lamented who is saying that the working environment in foreign countries and foreign companies is good? This foreign author can write about mental abuse so well, doesn't it prove that these foreigners are difficult to deal with [laughs] The author's analysis of various abuse techniques and reactions after abuse is relatively comprehensive, but the final part on how to solve the problem is a bit sparse. I feel that the book "Emotional Blackmail" I recently read provides many methods on how to change. The two books can be combined to read [laughs] I gained something from reading it and am happy [laughs]
Discovered that I was the abused one in my family
I cried while watching it. My parents have a bad relationship and love to quarrel. My father has been absent from the family relationship for a long time. This is a kind of violence to me. When I grew up, I inherited the ability of violence from my parents and I was cold-blooded towards my parents. And because I went to school for a few more years, I realized this, but I didn't have the ability to change it, and I even suffered from being stuck in it.
The full picture is unknown and no comments will be made. I selected some of them and sent them to my family. My mother responded with a blank look🙄. I experienced a similar feeling in the book, which made me want to continue reading. The narrative is not procrastinating and the academic terms are more obvious. I hope it can help me.
This book really resonated with me, especially when looking for a job and encountering some not-so-friendly people. The methods and consequences of mental abuse mentioned in the book are really terrible. It reminds me of an interviewer I met before. He always asked questions in a sarcastic tone, which made me feel worthless. But this book also gave me some advice on how to deal with such situations. I think this is a very practical book and recommend it to everyone!
A book full of wisdom, worth absorbing
Clear logic, strong language expression skills, rich clinical experience, and empathy
Good good good good good book
Well worth reading.