After a Breakup, Become a Better Version of Yourself

I think this book is really useful for people going through a breakup. I watched it on and off for two weeks. I write a diary every day to record what I have learned, and I can clearly see the change in my mentality. And I'm not as resentful as I was at first, I've become very calm. Although I didn't go through every healing process and reconstruction block in this book (probably because I wasn't divorced but broke up), I did feel less overwhelmed after reading it. Two years is not a long time, but it is true that I have been in an unhealthy relationship. I will probably read this book again to support my own self-growth. The chapter on finding new friends and new relationships also helped me a lot. I no longer worry about "how to meet other boys" or "how to find a new boyfriend". Be ready for healthy relationships by becoming your whole self. Half a month after the breakup, my ex came to me to get back together, but I didn't agree. It wasn't because I didn't like him, his turning back also caused me to react emotionally. But I feel that I am actively looking for the shortcomings of this relationship with Shen Ke, but he does not want to communicate well, he just wants to quickly turn the page so that we can be like before.

The author said that after a breakup, a psychological reconstruction is needed, just like a pyramid. If you walk up step by step and go through the process of climbing to the top, you will get over the pain and start a new life. The author also said that although those who enter the next relationship without completing psychological healing after a breakup are not painful, they give up before climbing to the top and have not seen the magnificent scenery of life after climbing to the peak. In fact, after breaking up, some people hid in caves and stayed in their own little world, watching the mountaineering team pass by. They were also among the group of people who failed to reach the top, but I think after reading this book, they will have a strong desire to reach the top. Unfortunately, there are still some people who choose to self-destruct and jump off the first cliff they see on the hiking trail. I think if this group of people could have read this book earlier, maybe the tragedy would not have happened. If you want to balance on a tightrope, you need to have friends who can help you balance. They won't give you a biased response because they want your love, they will give you honest feedback. Friends are more objective than lovers, and at this stage, you need to be objective. Set a goal for yourself: learn to be a happy single before you get into a relationship.

For many people, breakup is a break in an intimate relationship, and the trauma it brings makes it difficult for many people to start the next journey. But the author of this book tells us that the end of a painful relationship is likely to mean a new beginning; she not only tells you how to get out of an old relationship, but also helps us summarize the past, recognize our own emotions, and find ways to resolve them. Most importantly, it accompanies us from adapting to taking control of our new life. The whole book not only depicts the psychology of people in love in detail, but more importantly, it provides many practical ways to resolve broken love. It can be said to be a vivid and vivid lesson that teaches us how to break out of the cocoon and be reborn.

The adjustment period after a breakup is divided into 19 aspects. We need psychological reconstruction, which includes 19 squares. Please see Figure 2 (the order of appearance is from top to bottom, which is for the vast majority of people, and does not mean that it is the case for everyone). Don't worry, recognize the stage you are in and look for the future direction. You can learn new things from the past, understand yourself better, grow, and find a new self that you didn't know before. Learning how to adapt to a crisis is spiritual progress. If you have children, they also need psychological reconstruction when facing the current situation, but please believe that children are stronger than you think. After introducing 19 reconstruction blocks, the author proposed corresponding analysis and psychological counseling for each block, and sorted out the child's situation and solutions corresponding to each block. In the last paragraph of each reconstruction block, the author will make a list based on the content of this chapter to help you judge whether you have made adjustments to this block and whether you are ready to conquer the reconstruction of the next block. The content of the article is from shallow to deep, from the initial self-emotional adjustment to self-growth. Not only can you restore yourself, you can also discover a more authentic self and become a better self.

For many people, breakup is a break in an intimate relationship, and the trauma it brings makes it difficult for many people to start the next journey. But the author of this book tells us that the end of a painful relationship is likely to mean a new beginning; she not only tells you how to get out of an old relationship, but also helps us summarize the past, recognize our own emotions, and find ways to resolve them. Most importantly, it accompanies us from adapting to taking control of our new life. The whole book not only depicts the psychology of people in love in detail, but more importantly, it provides many practical ways to resolve broken love. It can be said to be a vivid and vivid lesson that teaches us how to break out of the cocoon and be reborn.

Bruce Fisher once said: The human psychological mechanism is very clever. It only allows us to feel as much pain as we can handle so that we don't break. The unbearable pain is put in the "bag of denial" and will not be released until we are strong enough to bear the pain. Breaking up is very much a grieving process. What kind of sadness is it? Unbearable sadness coupled with a feeling of hopelessness. Because of grief, we become exhausted and we believe that we are helpless and powerless to change our lives.

This book is really suitable for people who have just broken up. It is like a friend who understands you and gives you warm and practical advice. The 19 steps mentioned by the author feel like finding a ray of light in the darkness, guiding you to a better future. I think it is a bit like "Reconstruction of the Heart", which helps people find themselves again after emotional setbacks. Also, the book talks about how to identify healthy relationships, which is really important. Just like Jane in "Jane Eyre", we must learn to love ourselves in order to love others better. All in all, this is a very healing book and worth recommending!

The author said in the book that human psychological mechanisms are very clever. It only allows us to feel as much pain as we can handle so that we don't break. When you open this book, you are most likely sad because you have just ended a relationship that you have not completely let go of. This book explains in detail the 19 steps to get out of the past relationship and gain a new life. It not only analyzes the reasons and significance of each step, but also provides practical methods.

Very good, not bad

It's a very good book, but I didn't understand it after reading it once.

Very useful and beautiful

Good book, helpful a lot

Very apt. Worth a look

Maybe it's because I'm very rational and it's not a big deal after reading this.

I think this is the best interpretation of marriage, allowing people to understand and understand marriage

I'm ready to read it for the third time. It feels useful in healing the pain of breakup.

Okay, friends who have broken up can take a look.