Missing the Olympics: Please Ask God Zhou to Come Out

The Chinese men's basketball team failed to qualify for the Olympics for the first time in 37 years. The panicked coach Du cried and begged the basketball god Zhou Yuhao to come out. This news instantly detonated the entire network. God Zhou is the eternal god: "God Zhou, come back quickly!" Forever No. 0: "Zhou Shen, the China Men's Basketball Team needs you!" Basketball God Zhou Shen: "Kneel down and beg Zhou Shen to come back!" Twitter fanatic Shubao Du: "My Achilles tendon is aching. I think it may be a recurrence of an old injury. I may not be able to participate in the game." McGrady: "Welcome back, old friend!" LeBron: "Oh my God, is the man who dominated me for most of my life coming back?" Coach Lee: "What, that man is coming back? I'm sorry LeBron, I decided to bring my talents to Houston." This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.