Hello, You've Reached the Ghostbusting Hotline

The dogs won't bark and the roosters won't crow? A coffin half wrapped in red vines. Will being too bad at a game make you the next victim? People killed by wooden objects? Strange people? Bizarre happenings? Welcome to the Ghostbusting Hotline.

Hello, you've reached the Ghostbusting Hotline. How can we help you?

Help me, help me! There's, there's a ghost! Don't come any closer! Stay back! Ah! Beep, beep, beep.

Don't be scared. That punk? One slap from me and I'll smash him to pieces!

Hello? Yes, that's right, this is the Ghost-Catching Hotline. Hey, don't rush me, I'm in the middle of a fight here.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.