I’m the Conversation Killer! I Join a Chat Group

On the first night of freshman Zhang Jun's college life, he receives an invitation to a group chat. After joining, he discovers that it's full of real people, rogue cultivators, immortals, and the like.

Novice cultivator: I'm about to face tribulation. Please, I beg you, give me a formation that can help me survive it!

Han Laomo: 1,000 spirit stones. I'll send you a detailed guide to setting up the formation.

Perfected Jiuyang: Don't rush. I've got a tribulation formation from my sect. Want it? I'll sell it to you for 500 spirit stones!

Wang Lin: If you've got enough spirit stones, find a natural setting, lay them out, and set up a formation to face the tribulation.

Novice cultivator: The problem is, spirit stones are exactly what I'm short on...

Han Laomo: ...

Perfected Jiuyang: Farewell! I'd suggest choosing a scenic burial site to face your tribulation. That way, it'll be ready to use as your grave.

Killer Meteor: If you don't have spirit stones, what the hell are you doing trying to face a tribulation?

While the group chat is buzzing with discussion, Zhang Jun chimes in.

Terminator: Ever heard of a lightning rod? Stick one up high. If one doesn't work, use two. If two aren't enough, stick a whole ring of them around you. How's lightning supposed to hit you then?

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.