I’m an Assassin Who Does Stand-Up Comedy

"I've got a few discreet ways to show off your wealth that I'd like to share." Lin Tian took over the conversation.

"First, borrow a fairly new car, then tell your friends you spent a lot on phone bills lately, so you exchanged your points for it."

"Second, act interested in someone else's power bank, then tell them you've never used one. If your phone runs out of battery, you just buy a new one."

"Third, complain that things these days are so poorly made. I've worn out several cash-counting machines in a year."

"Fourth, don't use whitening cream over New Year. If your friends ask, say you got your tan on vacation at the beach."

"Fifth, put on new clothes and ask people what they think, then say, 'What color car would look good with clothes in this color?'"

"Sixth, complain to people that parking spaces are so hard to find these days. If they were easy to find, I wouldn't be thinking about buying a helicopter."

"Seventh, keep telling people you're broke. Ah..."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.