Journey to the West: I, Tang Sanzang, Refuse to Fetch the Scriptures

I actually became Tang Sanzang, and not just any Tang Sanzang, but one Guanyin Bodhisattva had her eye on.

Tang Sanzang: You want me to go on the Journey to the West and walk 108,000 li? No way. Let whoever wants to go do it.

Guanyin Bodhisattva: You should go. You'll attain great merit and enlightenment when it's done.

Tang Sanzang: Can I eat great merit and enlightenment?

Guanyin Bodhisattva: ...

Tathagata Buddha: If you agree to fetch the scriptures from the West, you can ask for anything you want.

Tang Sanzang: Can I marry a female demon and make her my wife?

Tathagata Buddha: ...

The Guide: Agree to anything he asks.

Tang Sanzang: How about giving me your holy position?

The Guide: ...

Tang Sanzang: If you want me to do the work, then things go my way. Otherwise, all of you can get lost and amuse yourselves somewhere else.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.