League of Legends: The Truth Is Out, I'm the Lord of Zuan!

After transmigrating to Zaun, he opens his eyes to find himself strapped to Singed's dissection table, with a sharp pair of pincers coming right at him.

Ding!

The Talent System has been activated. Choose one talent!

A talent?

Thunderlord's Decree? Grasp of the Undying? Conqueror?

I'm about to be dissected. What good is any of that? Can't I get a different System, one that lets me survive first?

System: Choose or get lost!

What the hell! Is even the System this Zaunite?

Fine! I'll out-Zaun you!

I choose Kleptomancy!

Singed: "Where's my Insanity Potion?"

Viktor: "Where's my Hex Core?"

Ekko: "Where's my Z-Drive?"

Jinx: "Where's my blue tank top?"

Steal money! Steal gear! Steal stats! Steal skills! What's yours is mine, and what's mine is still mine!

The champions: Stay away from me! That's not Kleptomancy, that's straight-up robbery!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.