Apocalypse: These Players Are Seriously Impossible to Carry

Also known as: Day N of Being Cursed Out by the System

Also known as: As an Administrator, I Spend 365 Days a Year Wanting to Kill These Idiot Players

I'm an administrator for an apocalypse game.

My job is to help players get through the apocalypse every day.

But there's something wrong with every player's brain!

I found a chainsaw.

Player: I get it! This is Saw! Quick, find the TV! Someone will speak through it!

I unlocked the door.

Player: I get it! This lock is fake. There must be a trap inside! Nobody go in!

I pointed out the tunnel that led to the exit.

Player: I get it! This tunnel is going to collapse. We should climb over the mountain instead!

I...

Player: I get it!

You get it again?

You get a banana, an apple, a pineapple, a corkscrew, a lollipop, and a nail, you...

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.