Wuxia Crossover: Graveyard Simulator

Even if I'm dead, nailed inside my coffin, I'll still use my rotting vocal cords to shout from the grave: Professional digging, corpse collection, backfilling, tombstone erection, incense, and joss paper... We offer the whole package.

"The burial site must be chosen according to the Five Elements and feng shui, so its blessings can reach all generations."

"Right, build the tomb passage to the specifications of the Great Wall, using the Great Wall as its foundation, and make sure it contains an Eight Trigrams formation."

"The soul-trapping staircase, quicksand tomb defenses, hidden weapon trapdoors, poison gas and oxygen deprivation, the Heavenly Treasure Dragonfire Glazed Ceiling... Not a single mechanism can be left out."

"The terracotta warrior brigade can't just sit around either. Station them in the tomb's guard chamber."

"The ghosts born in the underground world of the Graveyard Keeper? Put them on patrol in the passageways. And bring in a few Endermen too."

"We need a nest of classic tomb beetles as well, each one bigger than a Tyrannosaurus rex."

"As for the central tomb palace, design it after the weightless domain in the mythical tomb of Qin Shi Huang. Make it luxurious and comfortable."

"Oh, and..."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.