I Have Lived for Thirty Thousand Years

I was born in a mountaintop cave thirty thousand years ago. I have experienced the bone-chilling cold of the Ice Age and witnessed the raging floods of prehistoric times; I once danced arm in arm with the Queen Mother of the West, the leader of the matriarchal tribe, and I also built the Heaven-Mending Altar with Nuwa; Holding the Hetu and Luoshu in my hand, I deduced the innate Eight Diagrams. I traveled across thousands of mountains and valleys, and tasted all kinds of things in the world; I saw Kuafu chasing the sun and drinking the water of Daze in the north. I also saw Dayi shooting the sun and pacifying the world's most powerful heroes. I talked about Taoism with Lao Tzu, and I talked about cause and effect with Buddha; I once refined elixirs for Qin Shihuang, the first emperor of the ages, and was appointed the number one scholar by Zhu Youxiao, the carpenter emperor. I saw an apple smash on Newton's head, and I saw Van Gogh paint sunflowers... I have no supernatural powers, and I am not an immortal. Compared to ordinary people, I have only lived for 30,000 years. This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.