Hunting Ghosts with the Fierce Generals of the Three Kingdoms

Diao Chan climbs barefoot into bed in the middle of the night, while Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao serve me wearing only belly wraps. Lady Zhurong's feet are beautiful, and she is even more beautiful. I love life in this world.

But one day, my master tells me this world is a mashup of every horror movie ever made.

My master says, "There are lots of beautiful female demons and seductive female ghosts here who love to tempt men and suck out their yang energy."

I say, "I'm not worried. I have Diao Chan and Zhen Ji to sleep beside me... No, I mean, I have Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao to protect my yang energy."

My master says, "There are The Ring and Ju-On here."

I say, "I'm not worried. I have the great general Pan Feng... No, I mean, the great general Zhao Yun can slay demons."

My master says, "There is Resident Evil here."

I say, "I'm not worried. I have Zhang Liao, the one-man army, to kill every zombie."

My master says, "There is Final Destination here."

I say, "I'm not worried. I have Guan Yu, the God of War. The Grim Reaper wouldn't dare come near him."

My master says, "There is the cabin in the woods, with the upper..."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.