Harry Potter: From Family Guy to Azkaban

After transmigrating into the world of Family Guy, Matthew spends his days admiring the body of an ancient god, plotting with his cousin Stewie to assassinate his aunt Lois, and learning how to catch criminals from wheelchair-bound Joe. He had planned to spend the rest of his life in "peaceful mediocrity," but a letter he found in his uncle Peter's dinner owl changed everything.

Dumbledore: "I think I can see the pure goodness of human nature in Voldemort."

McGonagall: "I thought the Weasley Twins were already unbeatable, but I never imagined they had an even more formidable subordinate."

Snape: "Evil, so evil. Even Lily's radiance can't illuminate this bleak life of mine."

The Sorting Hat: "I knew my decision was right. He should have gone to Azkaban back then."

Voldemort: "The results are in. Matthew got MVP in the Battle of Hogwarts, and I got carried to victory. Quahog really is a place of outstanding people. I should have gone there to study."

Matthew spreads his hands helplessly. "I'm just a decent, well-behaved student. Why does everyone want to send me to Azkaban?"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.