Siheyuan: I Beat Up All Three Elders the Moment I Moved In

On my first day moving into Courtyard No. 95,

I beat up the three old masters, Silly Zhu, and Xu Damao.

My dad said there was something wrong with me, and they actually believed him.

They don't know I have a pocket dimension in my head;

ten androids are at my beck and call.

Xu Damao spreads rumors about me?

An android lets word get around, and his test results proving he's "infertile" spread through the entire factory.

Bang Geng makes faces at me?

An android molds a child's face and teaches him a lesson on his way home from school, so he'll learn to keep his nose clean.

You say I don't know the rules?

I spent five years slaughtering pigs at the meatpacking plant, earning 76.8 yuan a month.

My grandfather is Zhang Yishou, a renowned doctor of traditional Chinese medicine in the capital.

My dad is the head chef at a government office cafeteria. He knows more people than everyone in this entire courtyard combined.

I live in a privately owned house, and the deed has my name on it.

Tell me:

Who in this courtyard deserves to make me follow their rules?

I don't pick fights.

But nobody better pick one with me.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.