Great Tang: Li Er Hears My Thoughts and Rages, Breathing Fire

Cheng Chumo transmigrated as the eldest legitimate son of Cheng Yaojin. All he wanted was to lie flat and lounge around drinking with courtesans. When Li Shimin held a ceremony to pray for rain, Cheng Chumo ranted to himself: Instead of issuing an edict admitting fault, sell the palace treasures to buy grain. Put up a monument to virtue and get the officials competing to donate grain. Every word reached Li Er's ears. After flying into a rage, he realized the boy had a point. He tore up the edict admitting fault on the spot, ordered Yuan Tiangang to kneel, put up the monument to collect grain, and issued an imperial decree: Cheng Chumo was in charge of the whole operation. He was appointed Vice Minister of Revenue, and if he failed to complete the task, he'd become a stable hand for the 800 imperial horses.

Cheng Chumo nearly fell apart on the spot. Even more absurdly, Princess Huainan stopped his carriage on the way, got him drunk with a box of gold and a flask of wine, then jumped him. He rode to the Ministry of Revenue to report for duty, his legs still trembling. He'd slept with Li Er's daughter, taken the gold, and still had to do the job. At the Ministry, two Hanlin Academicians looked down their noses at him and called him an idiot. Cheng Chumo sneered. "You want to compete in arithmetic? You think you can pass off elementary-school problems as something impressive?"

Li Er could hear Cheng Chumo's inner thoughts, getting furious one moment and agreeing with him the next. A Tang Dynasty inner-monologue story that begins with a disastrous rain-prayer ceremony.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.