The Chongzhen Troll System: I Slay the Shanxi Merchants, Raise an Army, and Conquer All

Have I gone mad?

No, the whole world has gone mad!

I'm Li Jiahao, an online keyboard warrior who spent three days flaming people on Tieba over whether the Shanxi merchants were traitors. I closed my eyes, opened them again, and became the Chongzhen Emperor Zhu Youjian, who was hanged at Coal Hill.

Before me, Li Zicheng's million-strong army is at the gates.

At my side, the entire court is crying and begging me to "move the capital south."

Then a voice exploded in my mind: Ding! Ming Dynasty Flame-Warrior System bound! The more I flame people, the stronger I get. The harsher the insults, the more explosive the rewards!

I laughed.

No moving south! No negotiations! I'll flame my way through the apocalypse!

"Wei Zaode! You took 80,000 taels of silver from Fan Yongdou to suppress an impeachment against him. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"The Eight Great Shanxi Merchant Families: traitors, turncoats, and parasites who are undermining the foundations of the Ming!"

With one imperial edict, I have the Imperial Guards wipe out the entire Shanxi merchant clan!

Confiscate their estates! Eighty million taels of silver! Mountains of grain and supplies! It's all public property now!

Exchange points? Give me more troops!

Ten thousand Yue Family Army soldiers storm Li Zicheng's camp!

From this day on, I call the shots in the Ming!

I'll slaughter my way through the late Ming, build up my army, crush all opposition, and colonize the globe!

I have rebooted this world!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any similarities are purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.