A Worldwide Countdown: All My Disciples Are World-Destroying Villains

Chu He transmigrates as the most useless sect master in the cultivation world, only to bind himself to the Villain Reemployment System:

Summon a world-ending fallen immortal as a security guard? Take in an insect queen to grow crops? Have a cybernetic evil god run the Wi-Fi?

When a cosmic ranking screen exposes the disciples' crimes:

Yun Shi slaughtered three thousand worlds? In reality, he's teaching orphans to write the Three Character Classic!

Blade massacred billions of civilizations? He's developing a potato nuclear cannon!

Zero rewrote the rules of the universe? She's busy writing fairy tales for the robot vacuum!

Chu He lounges in his rocking chair, scanning the screen to send a tip. "Viewers, next time we'll expose the dark history of those sanctimonious prodigies. Send those rockets!"

Meanwhile, thunderclouds roil in the sky, and the armies of countless worlds roar as they charge:

"Demon! Hand over the pickled bamboo shoot recipe made with the Immortal-Slaying Sword!"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.