Naruto: Something's Off About My Sign-In Options

After transmigrating into the Naruto world, Kazama Hiko becomes a "dead-last" in the same class as Naruto. He thinks he'll have to work hard to get ahead, but then he binds to a god-tier slacking sign-in System.

Only... aren't the System's sign-in options a little strange?

Sign in at the First Hokage's nostril on Hokage Rock, and receive: Beginner Sage Body Fragment! This one's pretty normal.

Successfully tease Haku and sign in to get the title "Friend of the Pure and Chaste," with a chance to mutate into "Best Friend of a Cross-Dressing Master"! System, something's wrong with you! I'm warning you, stop tacking on weird suffixes!

On the bridge in the Land of Waves, Kazama Hiko pulls out a "fortune-bringing music box formation that plays automatically." "Zabuza, feel despair... I mean, feel the festive spirit!"

Facing Orochimaru, Kazama Hiko says earnestly, "Uncle Snake, immortality is great, but immortality without Wi-Fi or food delivery is incomplete!"

This is the story of a guy who uses a goofy sign-in System to slack off and stir up trouble in the Naruto world, while also saving the characters whose stories ended in tragedy, and accidentally becoming the strongest ninja in the world.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.