From the Start, I Play Messi and Ronaldo, and the Audience Begs Me to Stop Fooling Around!

When soccer becomes an AI puppet show, who can tear away the fake facade of the pitch?

I landed in a parallel world where soccer is dying and was forced to bind myself to a glitchy System.

In each match, I can only use 70% of Messi's skills to slide on my knees, or 70% of Ronaldo's power to pull off a bicycle kick. If I fail to create a highlight-worthy moment, I'm punished by having to dance the viral "Subject Three" in public!

The sharp-tongued System, that old rascal, cheats for me while mocking me: "That bicycle kick is worth three tons of tribute points. I recommend adding a 360-degree spin before you land." The whole internet laughs at my antics, until I score the winning goal in the Champions League final with the kind of human mistake AI hates most.

Viewers around the world kneel to pick up their torn-up tickets: "This lunatic really is saving soccer!" Meanwhile, all I want is to grab that old rascal and roar: "Why do I have to show off my abs after the match just to unlock Ronaldo's famous pendulum dribble?"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.