Rating Champion Pokémon, Starting with Greninja

The Pokemon rating showcase has descended upon the world.

First up: Greninja, rated 9.7.

Diantha: My Hawlucha only got a 9.0. What makes Greninja worthy of a 9.7?

Lance: If even Greninja got a 9.7, then my Dragonite has to get a perfect score.

But as one iconic Greninja moment after another was revealed, everyone in the Pokemon world was left stunned.

What the heck is the Bond Phenomenon? And what the heck is it doing overpowering Miss Diantha's ace, Gardevoir? And what the heck does it mean that it was chosen by Zygarde and went off to chop down trees?

Also, you, the guy called Ash, how could you say something that dense to the adorable Miss Plumeria?!

Pokemon Spotlight: Snorlax.

Rating: 9.3

Review: A Snorlax that can swim butterfly stroke! No training needed, it gets stronger just by sleeping!

Pokemon Spotlight: Pikachu.

Rating: ****

Review: Have you ever seen a Thunderbolt powered by friendship?

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.