Even a Dog Could Get Three of These Right

A hidden gem of a novel! If you're bored, come take a look. I guarantee you won't be able to stop reading. This work is entirely fictional. If anything seems familiar, don't believe it. Why does the introduction have to be a hundred characters long? It's so annoying. With my middle-school education, it's already pretty impressive that I managed to write what's above. Why do they have to make this so hard for me?

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.