Beating the Goblins with a Stick

I'm a loner with no car, no house, and no girlfriend, a graduate of a third-rate university. I sent out ten resumes over two weeks, and every company told me to go home and wait for news. They really have a good eye for talent. I bet they're struggling to decide which department to put me in! So I happily went home. While waiting, I accidentally entered a continent of monsters. Whether it's an aloof, gorgeous witch, a sweet and adorable elf girl, a haughty and scheming queen, or a sexy and alluring fairy, they all love crowding around me, trying to suck my blood!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.