I Just Want to Lie Flat and Live Off My Parents, So How Did I Become a Role Model for the Age?

While everyone else mooches off their parents, college graduate Chen Fan has parents who won't support him, so he can only mooch off the Public Security Bureau.

When he has no food, he calls the police for help. On his 101st call to ask for a meal,

the policewoman finally loses her temper.

"You really think the Public Security Bureau is a retirement home? A lazy bum like you needs to be locked up!"

But instead of scaring Chen Fan, it only makes him more excited. He can hear people's thoughts.

"Um... Officer, if I help you solve cases, could you let me stay here for another month?"

"I want to report these two. There's something wrong with them. They've got rock candy hidden in their underwear."

When the officers search them, they are stunned.

"Good heavens! We almost let two rock-candy dealers walk right out of here!"

"A seven-day detention turning into the death penalty? That's ridiculous!"

As Chen Fan keeps reporting crimes and helping crack one major case after another,

the Public Security Bureau can no longer sit still.

"Chen Fan, in recognition of your repeated contributions to solving major cases, we hereby award you the Model of the Era title!"

"And we hereby recruit you into the police force!"

Chen Fan shouts,

"I just wanted to mooch off my parents, and now you want me to work!"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.