American Comics: I'm Always Happy to Help

Jiang Bai obtains the Helping Others System and descends into Marvel, stepping out of a cloud of purple energy.

He encounters Stark, who has just escaped from armed men. As Tony Stark, parched and desperate, stares at him, Jiang Bai casually reaches into his crotch and pulls out a bottle of Pulse.

Stark: "How exactly did you pull a bottle out of there?"

Jiang Bai: "You're illiterate, so you wouldn't understand. Every real man has a pocket dimension down there. Drink this golden Pulse while it's still cold!"

When Jiang Bai meets Coulson, the village chief of the newbie zone:

Jiang Bai: "Coulson, don't you want to regain your masculine charm? Don't you want to feel like a man again? A five-hundred-year-old traditional doctor, the number-one magical hair regrowth expert, at your service!"

When Jiang Bai meets the sorcerers of Kamar-Taj:

Jiang Bai: "Sorcerer Supreme, don't you want to be remembered throughout history? Don't you want to help the sorcerers of Kamar-Taj kick their internet addiction? One treatment lasts a lifetime!"

After Jiang Bai has "helped" the entire world, all he wants to do is shout, "Who else needs my help?"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.