Three Kingdoms: The Only Thing Scarier Than Liu the Hooligan Is Liu the Hooligan with an Education

Cao Cao: When it comes to scoundrels, only you and I, My Lord, can match each other!

The warlords of Xiliang: We'd understand if you just sowed discord between us, but you even stole our horses! Liu Bei, you have no honor!

The King of the Xiongnu: You struck while I was acting out a scene, then slashed me! Liu Bei, what kind of man are you?

Liu Biao and Liu Zhang: We're all surnamed Liu. How are you so good at this?

Cao, Yuan, and Sun: Liu Bei, how dare you say you never liked fighting? If you hadn't stirred things up, would we have torn the Central Plains apart? And after you unified the Central Plains, we found out you'd already beaten all the surrounding tribes! Why become the Heavenly Khan? Just declare yourself emperor already!

Cai Wenji: Xuande, you... that's a wonderful poem! Teach me how to write one!

Diao Chan: A true man's ambitions should be like the Yangtze, rushing east toward the sea. Why cling to... Darling, do I look better in a black miniskirt or white stockings with little heels?

Sun Shangxiang: Everyone, move! Big Ears belongs to me!

The Qiao sisters: So, older sister or younger sister? You choose, Beibei.

Zhen Ji: Xuande, the bunnies you made up are so cute~ You're even better at making things up than my dad!

Liu Bei: I really just wanted to collect beautiful women and underlings. I never meant to unify Eurasia. "Lonely, weak, and helpless.jpg"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.