Urban Elves: My Sister Was Harmed, So I Took Charizard to Avenge Her

The outline is pretty good. I suggest you reopen it. Remove the younger sister's parents and focus on the protagonist instead. Otherwise, it's a weakness. What Shuangwen ultimately wants is the attitude of the game's world. Who reads Shuangwen's novels to see family ties?

To put it bluntly, the protagonist is a time-traveler, not an aborigine. Don't refer to reality. It's really uncomfortable to write it now, especially because the star in the hospital can be completely transformed into a passer-by. The protagonist can completely subjugate Sirona Lusamine and other people from the elven world to create a new era alliance. Why lead a staid and decadent yamen that invaded the new era ship for three scum. Don't say anything about the patriotic protagonist, the time-traveler is not an aborigine, and the aborigines treat the time-travelers well.

Haven't you written about Sirona yet? The officials you wrote are too incompetent. I feel that it is better to overthrow and build an alliance, rigidly treat special times in special times, and not win over a pioneer of the country's next era? Like if the country kills someone who develops nuclear fusion capabilities?

So what. Although the old spray is version's biological son. But the quality is still a bit low. . Personally, I feel that the blood-winged flying dragon is more powerful.

The only advantage of the male protagonist is the deus ex machina effect of the fire-breathing dragon. So far, no other shining points have been seen. The shark-man appears first to take revenge, as if he wants to overthrow the existing system, and then... Sends his sister to the hospital? Then he went to rob medical bills, terrorized a large number of sharks, and then... His parents took Gou to visit him in the hospital? While saying "They are still using modern weapons", he sent his sister to the hospital... You actually still believe in modern medicine?? While engaging in terrorism, the parents took to the streets as if nothing had happened... And no one heard about what their son had done? Is this completely out of touch with society? Also, are you not worried about your parents and sister at all? After all, the methods of making money are quite outrageous. The police in your country may exercise restraint, but aren't you afraid of assassinations from Bangzi Country? At this point, I really can't imagine how it will develop in the future. Help the country popularize elves? The protagonist will inevitably lose his only advantage and eventually become obsolete to everyone. I might wait and see.

Author, did you fail to do a good job in the outline? There are so many loopholes and small points that I don't know what to say. You said that the whole job was to lead out the plot at the beginning, but you are not happy with the whole job. There are too many logical loopholes... Now it feels like the protagonist is just a person who just wants to have fun without considering the consequences and has no brains. , A person who has a weak point and wanders around, even though a high-level elf who specializes in treatment can solve the problem, he still has to go to the hospital to treat the paralysis that wasted three years without treatment, and goes abroad to steal money for treatment... There is also a silly and sexy female scene... And those celebrities with problems, I feel numb...

The protagonist can't even make a Poké Ball, right?? Cones + jade. . Add other materials to make a more beautiful Poke Ball.

Good guy, please don't write this kind of nonsense. It's really unpleasant. It's not helpful to the protagonist. It wants to prevent the protagonist from taking revenge. It also likes to say those high-sounding words! If MD wanted them to make the protagonist's enemies deserve their punishment before, would this kind of revenge against the sand people happen again? And now that the sand people have been on the opposite side of the Guo family, you might as well take your family to the elves to develop strength and trade with the Guo family based on your strength, and you are not afraid of restrictions. As for your sister's injury, it has been three years, what's the use of going to the hospital again? Can it be restored immediately? You might as well go directly to the elves to find the Phoenix King, which is more reliable than this! Don't go out of your way to embarrass yourself because of the plot's connection with a celebrity!

This book is very well written! Why don't you continue?

The protagonist has no problem abiding by the law, but can he say goodbye to the Virgin? Some people cannot be punished by the law. Can't we just kill him directly?