You Told Me to Survive in the Wilderness, Not to Turn It into a Science Expedition

“You get a dagger. How long can you survive in the wilderness?” This is a major wilderness survival show, and the winner will receive a whopping 30 million in prize money.

To survive on the show and become the last one standing, the contestants pull out every trick in the book.

Contestant 1: “Guys, I caught a weird fish today. Should I steam it or grill it over charcoal?”

Chen Wen: “That fish is a protected species. Catching and eating it could get you up to ten years in prison. I’d advise you to be a good person.”

Contestant 2: “Guys, I found a broken bowl on the beach today. Now I can finally eat without using my hands.”

Chen Wen: “Ever heard of China’s thousand-year-old kiln-firing techniques?”

As Chen Wen keeps applying what he’s learned to wilderness survival,

the viewers are left dumbfounded.

“They told you to survive in the wilderness, not to make a science show!”

“Why are you teaching me all these weird facts? Are you worried that I, a fish who slipped through nine years of compulsory education, might swim back into the sea?”

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.