Hear Me Out, I'm Really Not a Good Person

So what if it's a tiger demon that's lived for a thousand years?

All I, Yuan Rang, need is one slide tackle to take down a pair of jacks and queens.

What? An elephant demon that's lived for a thousand years?

Hmph. All I need is a Qin King Circling the Pillar, grab him by the hind leg, and give it the slightest tug. I'll snap his leg in no time.

You want to know what pillar I'm circling?

What kind of wild boar are you? Why do you talk so much?

One more word and I'll show you what it means to strangle a thousand-year-old pig demon with your bare hands!

Yuan Rang is a low-ranking constable who has fallen out of favor with the county magistrate, so he's been assigned to a remote mountain village.

Every day, he's either drinking and bragging or settling the trivial squabbles of the local aunties and uncles.

Life is peaceful and carefree.

That is, until one day, a group of people barges into the village.

"We've been searching for you all this time."

"Sorry, miss, you've got the wrong person."

"Do you know what we've been through these past three years? I'm taking you back, and that's final! Not even the Dao Ancestor can stop me!"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.