MOBA: Furrowing My Brow, the Unstoppable Force!

Furrow your brow: Malphite! Darken your expression: Nasus! Let out a yawn: lock in Garen! Lose your mind: Maokai! Crack a smile: Volibear! Go stiff with fear: Pantheon! Panic inside: Rumble! Play safe under the tower: this game, Darius!

When my teammates are strong, I go wild. When they're too weak, I tell them to surrender! A total buffoon dropped from the heavens, the greatest feast-for-the-eyes in the world!

Ding... Congratulations, Host, you have been bound to the Top Lane Tank Specialist System!

What?

The enemy jungler is camping me at raptors?

TheShy: I don't get why a Garen keeps yelling at me not to take the minions!

Ale: He starts with 50 more gold than me, so why can he solo-kill me at level three? How is that fair? How am I supposed to play?

Duke: How is his Maokai stronger than my Gangplank with Sheen even without buying items?! I can't take this anymore! He's got to be the best top laner in the LPL!

That's right, he's top lane TheBug!

My name is Xue Ba. Restoring glory to LPL top lane is our duty!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any similarities are purely coincidental. Do not imitate.