The Otherworldly Mage of Hogwarts

The protagonist is too wordy, almost half of the words in each chapter are spent listening to his wordiness. And don't write about them in every picture just because they are the protagonist group. I have finished reading Harry Potter. I like the world view very much, but I don't like anyone in the protagonist group. So, can you write less about those people? When I see those people, I don't want to see them

The more I watch, the more I hate Ron, why do I still want to play with him?

The protagonist is a bit too radical, I feel uncomfortable writing it like this

Also, can you check it after you finish writing? There are many typos and wrong sentences that make it hard to read.

Not Slytherin? Why did he become Slytherin?

The mage tower doesn't need to be too big, it just needs to be about the same size as Karazhan.

In fact, they are all good. There are two main problems. Since it is a fanfic, the connection with the plot can be closer. Of course, this is not to be a nanny for the protagonist. You can continue writing in this direction and increase the introduction of the mage system to compare and optimize it with the wizard system. It does not have to be so light and clear at the beginning, which will cause a feeling of alienation. The character flaws of Ron are used to create conflicts. The mage system is actually more materialistic, but the wizard system is completely an idealistic system. It can be compared and constructed from this aspect.

The writing is okay so far, at least I have my own magic system! Other Harry Potter's Cookie-cutter Wizarding Magic

After reading the first two chapters, I saw that it was nothing but nothing. Author, can you change it? Can you read it yourself? Even in elementary school, I couldn't write such a sentence.

I still like the mage system in World of Warcraft