It's Not a Monogatari, Hmph

Our club gathers all kinds of talented people and has all sorts of methods, good and bad, aboveboard and shady. In short, we're incredibly resourceful! We specialize in solving all kinds of thorny problems faced by students on campus. Everyone is welcome to call our hotline at 155xxxxxxxx. Bring it on, you lot!

Signed, the President of the Divine Beings Club

A club member who wishes to remain anonymous adds: Um, that's my phone number. Please don't call unless it's an emergency. Thanks, everyone. Oh, and we're really nothing special, so please don't get your hopes up or expect anything weird!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.