From the Start: The Most Miserable Protagonist in History

"Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've obtained the universe's most ridiculously awesome golden finger System."

"Now, please complete your first mission."

"Snatch the knife from the thug, then stab yourself with it."

What the hell? You want me to grab the knife and then stab myself?

Are you crazy, or am I?

If I've already taken the knife from the thug, why would I need to stab myself with it?

Wouldn't it be better to threaten them with the fruit knife, tell them to stay back, and make my escape?

What kind of System is this? The most ridiculously awesome in the universe? It's good for nothing.

It must have been designed by some twisted lunatic. It's a self-torture System...

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.