Crash: My System Is Too Bad at the Beginning

When I'm afraid, fear turns into excitement; When I am kind, pity turns to sorrow; As I kill, my emotions spiral into madness; When I focus, the world has no secrets; But when I am strong, low-key always stays with me; When I was in love, life was full of sugar; I've been among thousands of flowers, don't tempt me - this man can only have one female protagonist. This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.