After Handing in the System, I Flew All over the Country

I have some suggestions. I got some suggestions after reading the introduction. I will read the book in a while. I saw that you mentioned that there were gods in the later period. I think it is good to be called gods. You might as well write that the so-called arrival of gods is just a group of evil demons who confuse the world and change the forbidden behaviors of gods. It is forbidden to become an evil demon. After all, in the eyes of our countrymen, gods are good to humans, and evil demons are bad. It is still early for you to write these. I hope you can read my suggestions. Of course, I still like your introduction. Hehe, I will read the book. I believe it will be very interesting.

Woo hoo hoo, sisters, I am successful. The author accepted my suggestion. I read the comment area and found that some readers think the author's writing is too watery. Then I suggest you a little writing tip. If some events will be mentioned repeatedly, you should mention them in one sentence at the beginning and then you can describe the causes and consequences in detail. Some things should also be combined with realistic logic. When talking about well-known things, you can only mention them in one sentence, so write In the same way, you can conceive of an event that happened in the early stage and has an impact on the later stage. You can briefly mention it in the early stage, find an opportunity in the middle stage to explain the cause and effect, and mention it repeatedly in the later stage because of other events. In this way, you are writing for the sake of logical flow, not for the sake of syntax. Many times readers also want to know the follow-up of the event and follow it. What we readers see is not how detailed the story you write, but how exciting it is.

It's a bit too streamlined, Xiao Baiwen There are a lot of exclamation points in the dialogue, just to promote the plot.

Each world seems to be an outline without specific content. Moreover, after a third of the book, it is different from the title, and it becomes a fast traveler who completes various tasks inexplicably.

Not pretty. The process was incomprehensible, the pace was too fast, and it was unsightly! ! !

Ancient drought, one copper plate per ton of water? Are you sure the author got it right? One ton of water weighs two thousand kilograms. Do you know how much a five-hundred-liter mineral water bottle can hold?

No cp, the author's writing is very good, the characters are vividly drawn, making it easy to remember. Hope it doesn't end badly!

On the last day of pk, give yourself a five-star review👿 Please read online ~ Thank you for your support (* ⁰̷̴͈꒨⁰̷̴͈)=͟͟͞͞➳❤

It probably looks like a novice's work, relatively straightforward. 1. Some numbers/units/exchange rates are broken. Some numerical units are exaggeratedly large, some are exaggeratedly small, and the exchange rates within the store are also confusing. The author may have little idea of ​​these items or units. 2. Lack of national think tank. You can communicate across dimensions, and you will definitely collect information from other worlds and arrange and plan stores. (This aspect may be limited by thinking, and it should not be possible yet. I look forward to the author's future growth)

It was good at the beginning, but later on it became more and more confusing and the system became more and more useless. It felt like I didn't know how to continue writing.