Ambiguous Happiness
by Liu Ye
About This Novel
It was really the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong relationship. Is it because of love or what? This is no longer important, what is important is that nothing can go back to the past. How many times have I asked myself: Do you regret it? Although I dare not answer. But I know that if God had allowed everything to happen, there would still have been such a heartbreaking relationship. Unless it is ruthless and unintentional, how difficult would it be? Falling leaves were blowing in the wind, in a season full of separation and sadness, I impulsively fell in love with a girl who was completely not mine. There is no hope, no promise. Even then, I still can't stop loving. Because of her, I have experienced a period of suffering: lovesickness, waiting, loneliness, guilt, self-blame... Etc., "Sour, bitter, spicy". Just not "sweet". Even if you want to answer her phone, make a greeting, or say a few words, it is so difficult. Even if we get together occasionally, they are always so short. She didn't know what I wanted, and maybe she never wanted to know. I don't exist in her heart at all, but even like that, I still can't bear to leave her. Even though in the eyes of others she had a very nourishing and fulfilling life, I could still feel the pain in her heart. It was an unspeakable suffering. A pressure from a good girl's self-esteem. When I was with her, I could clearly feel her inner exhaustion, so I didn't want to cause her any more trouble or pressure. Just as long as I can still bear this kind of pain, I will wait for her quietly, love her silently, and look at her deeply. When the day comes when I can no longer wait or love anymore, I think it will be time to leave her. Silly, huh? But as long as she is happy, that's enough. This is my biggest wish in life!
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