Starting from the World of Uncle Jiu

I stopped talking, and I couldn't help but breathe. The second paragraph above, a total of sixty-five words, was spoken in one breath. There are still twenty-eight characters. Do you think this is appropriate for the last point? "I think your seduction technique is good. Let me see it for a few days and I'll give it back to you." Having said that, if he is in Lin Zian's hands, this person will not go back. The man in front of me thought for a while, then respectfully handed over a book and said, "Master Tao, if you want to read it, just give it to Master Tao. There is no need to return it." Anyway, I didn't have the energy to read it, so I just turned to the chapters while listening, which is called "jumping through the pages".

First of all, if you look at the plot written by the author, you can tell that the author has watched these movies. The dialogue between the characters is similar to the movie. The description is at %80, which proves that the author is also writing carefully. However, I still want to say that the author is really poor in task dialogue. Let's not talk about other things. In terms of dialogue, I will take the scene where Lin Jiu invites Shi Jian in the third world. "Who did this?" They are my two useless apprentices." "What does it mean to be useless?" "Master, you are stupid, or stupid, or else you are an idiot, Master. This will at least allow readers to get involved and give them a space to reflect on the movie. Second, I won't comment much on your punctuation problem. You, the author, can listen to it using a book-listening software and you will find out how embarrassing it is. Third, the system. To be honest, the system only requires time travel, and nothing else is necessary. Who to touch and how to touch is the protagonist's own business. For example: If I touch Porcelain Yan Chixia, what is there in Yan Chixia, what personality is it, and how should I touch it to get the benefits. Wang Hao chuckled and said: "Lieutenant General, you are really leisurely. Why do you, a college student, come to me when you have nothing to do?" "Wang Hao, we are all sensible people. It is impossible that you don't know why I came to you." Jin Wei said seriously: "I need a thousand copies of the antidote, but the price of 10 billion copies of the antidote is too expensive. Can I sell it cheaper to save face!?" "Ten billion copies?" Wang Hao smiled, "My Lord Lieutenant General, when did you get the news!? But that's right. Why are prices rising so much now! My antidote has already cost 100 billion copies." "Kid, you're too greedy!" Jin Wei's face turned cold. He came to Wang Hao to try to establish a relationship, but he didn't expect Wang Hao to give him such a big surprise as soon as he arrived. "I don't think you are greedy at all." Wang Hao said calmly, "The fact that you can use antibody medicine to kill these soldiers shows that these soldiers are not ordinary soldiers. If I charge you more, you should be proud of your soldiers." Fuck! So proud of you, uncle! Are you still reasonable about raising the price from the ground up? Jin Wei's face turned completely dark, and he felt as if he had been raped. This little bastard was even darker than the darkest profiteer in the Interstellar Federation, and there was a slight possibility that he would immediately raise the price. The most hateful thing is that you still act like I'm doing it for you and you don't need to thank me. Damn, the forest is really big and there are all kinds of birds. "Wang Hao, the price you want is too high, it's impossible..." Jin Wei seriously refused. "Wow..." Before Jin Wei finished speaking, Wang Hao took out several bottles of antidote and threw them on the ground. "Impossible? It depends on who you meet." Wang Hao smiled scornfully, and then howled like a ghost, "Come here, the soldiers of the military department are beating someone, come here... Lieutenant General Jin Wei allowed his men to rob the poor college students' belongings..." Jin Wei was dumbfounded. The soldiers were dumbfounded. Could this TM be the legendary home star of the East, the place where human beings originated? It has been lost for thousands of years, and it is so frightening that people cannot see it with their own eyes. If they see it, they will go bankrupt! ? Wang Hao's voice soon attracted dozens of curious people to watch. When they saw the broken potion on the ground and Wang Haoguang's thunderous appearance, it didn't rain. They were all possessed by Ke Lan at this moment. Lieutenant General Jin Wei relied on his status to allow his subordinates to bully college students. "The people in the military department are amazing!?" "People from the military can bully college students!?" "It's okay to bully people, even children like this..." "I am a reporter and I want to report on you..." "It doesn't matter whether he has seen it or not, it is their fault to bully the weak." "That's right. How lethal can a college student be? Why do you want to bully him!?" "..." Jin Wei looked at the people around him and pointed at him. He felt that there were thousands of horses galloping, and they were still messing around. Could it be that no one noticed that Wang Hao, a little bastard, was only thundering but not raining! ? "Wang Hao!!" Jin Wei's face became darker and darker as he saw more and more people. "Jin Wei, what are you going to do!?" A cold voice came from the distance, and Vice President Bingqiao was seen walking quickly. When Bingqiao saw the broken antidote on the ground and shouted Wang Hao with her mouth open, her face became even colder and she actually attacked their Pharmacy Guild. She really thought that their Pharmacy Guild was easy to bully, didn't she? ? When Jin Wei saw this, he immediately knew something was wrong and quickly explained: "President Bing, things are not what you think..." "It's not what I think? You think I'm blind, can't you understand?" Bingqiao scolded in a cold voice, "Let me tell you, Wang Hao is a member of our Pharmacy Guild. Anyone who dares to bully him is going against our Pharmacy Guild. Not to mention you, a lieutenant general, even if you are a marshal, our Pharmacy Guild will fight to the death with him..." Hearing this, Jin Wei's face turned darker, and even his smooth bald head turned darker. But he also knew that Bingqiao did not bluff him. A pharmacy genius who had reached the third level of Medicine at the age of seventeen could indeed make the Pharmacy Guild fight for his dignity. But from the beginning to the end, he was the victim, okay? Couldn't anyone see that all of this was a porcelain show written and directed by Wang Hao, a little bastard! ? However, Jin Wei also understood that if things continued like this, he would be the one who suffered. Although the Military Department and the Pharmacy Guild are among the five major forces in the Interstellar Federation, to the Military Department, he is just a dispensable lieutenant general, while Bingqiao is one of the four vice-presidents of the Pharmacy Guild and is the second-in-command. Under this disparity in status, he knew with all his might that the higher-ups would not start a war with the Pharmacy Guild for him, a lieutenant general, so in order to appease Bingqiao's anger, he would definitely be removed from his post. Thinking of this, Jin Wei took a deep breath, calmed down his heart that had been fucked, and said: "Wang Hao, I think we can talk." "Talk!?" Wang Hao stopped crying immediately, and of course no tears flowed out. He just closed his open mouth, "As long as you are willing to compensate me for an infinite energy crystal, I am willing to talk to you." Fuck! ! The price has increased again! This is one of the passages in a book I read. The author can refer to it. He is also a systematic person, but the system has never issued tasks. The protagonist is earning villain points, and then going to the system to buy things. The expressions, punctuation marks, etc. Finally, what readers need is a tranquil, happy and thoughtful plot. The thinking is to develop what parts of the movie are unpleasant and what needs to be added, rather than following the plot, which will be very interesting and easily make people feel bored. The attraction lies in the unknown. When readers are bored, they will subconsciously feel that this book is bad. The author originally described it very carefully, but readers will not accept that, "including me". I have added this book to my bookshelf for a few days, and I can see the author's intentions, but the result is very unsatisfactory. And you don't want to think about it. In Mr. Zombie, you were immediately transferred to A Chinese Ghost Story. I want to ask, is it a power system? You must know that the tree demon from the year before last, the old black mountain demon, and the centipede national master in it, if you don't have the invincibility and corresponding strength, any one of them can make you cool, and it's only because of the author's ability that you can't be cool. Well, it's almost three thousand words before I know it. That's it. I hope the author will write better and better, come on!

Paragraphs and symbols are pretty good. I'm not even close to getting started. I can read it well without being out of breath. It's much better than before. Let me talk about your other problem, which is also a problem with many books. This problem appears in the hands of many novices and people who have written one or two books. But if you really read those better books, you will find that there will be very few or even No, the problem is just two words. The first one is "了" and the second one is "道". You can know it or say it, but it is not suitable if you add it to every sentence. Adding such a word for "了" in any sentence or phrase will not increase the number of words, but will lower the quality of the book. Below is the dialogue diagram in the chapter book. You'll know just by looking at it.

The segmentation is done, but the punctuation marks are still lacking, and now there are typos and random changes, such as: Shi Jian's Lightning Thunder Fist and Wooden Stake Dharma, you can make Muchun Dharma, and you can discover it yourself. The last connection point is here. I remember it is a foreign zombie. There is no Qiu Sheng in it, only A Xing and Xiao Yue. As for the description of the protagonist, it becomes increasingly irrelevant to your introduction and the title of the book.

I give it four stars. To put it simply, the topic selection is good and the start is good. Also, you are completely incompetent in dealing with porcelain. Renjia Town is only a small and big place. You have encountered it again and again. You think others will believe you, plus Uncle Jiu's interpersonal relationship. So this can be commented on the "lack of brains". Secondly, is there something wrong with your system or something? It's all tasks, and then rewards. It's completely smooth sailing, which is called free of charge. Furthermore, is the protagonist a slave? It gives the reader the feeling that the protagonist is completely doing the task and on the way to complete the task. Why can't he pick something happy? What's the comment about the system? At the beginning, it was said that a dog can practice faster than the protagonist, so why doesn't the system choose a dog? In the end, the protagonist just follows the system as if he has no self-thinking. You must know that what you learn is your own, and what others give is always someone else's. The comment "It's okay if the system is redundant". The last one is that the author will not You know how to mark punctuation marks. Don't you think it's not smooth to read? My daughter's compositions are smoother than yours. In addition to dialogue, what useless things do you need to add to the dialogue? Don't let the readers make up their own minds, such as: "Uncle Jiu said, Wen Cai said, and then Later, if there is anything I can't say directly, such as: Who are you? Me! I am your uncle, wouldn't it feel awkward if you added the text in front of it? Comments: "The author doesn't know paragraphs and symbols." Apart from the above shortcomings, the book is pretty good.