I Hug My Thighs in the Survival Game

① There are many flaws in the description of the twelve players. First of all, the author did not have a general overview at the beginning. Until now, he does not know how many men and how many women there are in two people. There is no player introduction or anything. Every time he speaks, it is "said by a man/woman wearing...". What readers remember more about his personality than his clothing is his personality. There are also twelve players. If there are too many players, it is easy for readers to get confused. Therefore, the author needs to select the characters who have lived longer and have more important roles to describe. That is fine. You don't need to say a word, I will tell you that every character must have a strong sense of existence. ② The perspective is single. The heroine's perspective is very important, but don't forget the perspective of other people. Without describing the heroine from other people's perspectives, how can the heroine's personality and image characteristics be highlighted? For example, from the perspective of the male protagonist, you can describe the image of the female protagonist, such as "He twisted his fingers slightly and looked up at the man in front of him. He has brown curly hair and smart deer eyes. From the beginning of the game, he has been entangled with you..." ③The description of supernatural things is too perfunctory, and the description of the female ghost is really careless and not detailed at all. So far, all I can remember is the word female ghost. I have no idea what he looks like. You can write it from his eyeballs, mouth, face, and skin. There are also some supernatural scenes. You need to highlight the weird atmosphere and focus on describing those weird scenery. ④ There are no foreshadowings in many places, there is no reason for doing things, and the explanations are incomprehensible. For example, after the temple collapsed, those people thought it was a female ghost who did it, but the female ghosts did not appear. Also, after the collapse, they all knew they were going to a certain mountain villa, but this villa was not mentioned in the game introduction. All players knew they were going, but the readers did not know why they were going there. ⑤Typos, "a man wearing a suit with eyes"? ? ? There are several places, and there are others that I have forgotten for now. ⑥There are veteran players in the game, but the veteran players don't show any experience at all, and they can't be seen at all. Anyway, when I read it, I felt that they were the male protagonist, the female protagonist, and a bunch of noobs. And some places are very inexplicable, like opening a God's perspective,

I always feel that the novels written by the author are very similar to others, and there is no Ky. And I observed that there is a comment section in the author's novel. At the beginning, it was said that you were imitating the Death Kaleidoscope. Later, someone said that the style you wrote was the same as that of Nanpai Sanshu's Grave Robbery Notes. What's your name? Because I like to read Infinite Flow. While reading one Infinite Flow, I also read many Infinite Flow novels, so I always feel that there are similarities when I read more content. If it is just the general routine, it is not that there are some details that are very similar to other books... Moreover, I saw that some content from the last few copies was really similar to the other one I read, especially some of the smaller and more innovative content. Although there are not too many places, the descriptions have been changed, and another novel was written faster and earlier than you. By the time you wrote this, someone else had already finished it. I don't know what is going on. At first I was worried that I was gay, but I saw many people in the comment area saying so, but the author didn't have an explanation. . . .

① First of all, the author used a digression to explain that the heroine's identity in the game is a male character, and then did not explain anything in the main text. Personally, I feel that the sense of substitution is not particularly strong. You can try to describe the psychology of the heroine first. For example, she herself traveled to that game, and when she played that game, she chose a male character or touched a certain organ and found something wrong. ②The author begins to describe the appearance of the male protagonist in the first half of the first chapter, and the number of words is a bit long. This kind of description seems to be more suitable for the routine of urban romance or campus romance. In Infinite Flow novels, the description of the male protagonist is not very detailed from the beginning. It is usually mainly described on the face, such as deep eyes, exquisite facial features, and rarely details such as height. , And usually they don't write about the male protagonist so quickly, they always shape the female protagonist first. I personally suggest that when everyone runs away in a hurry after encountering the female ghost in the blood mist, the female protagonist notices the male protagonist, feels something unusual or something, and follows him. ③Don't always use the word "boring gourd" to refer to the male protagonist. It only appears once or twice. It is not good for the senses if it appears multiple times, and some readers may forget the male protagonist's name. ④I noticed that the heroine had thought in her mind that if she kept her alive, she would be paid 500,000 yuan. We can seize this point and create an image of a rich woman for the heroine. ⑤As an old player, Trouble is a bit like an old player. When he sees a female ghost in the blood mist, the old players will despair, and the new players will be scared to death. In this way, they will all die and there is no need to play anymore. ⑥There is a paragraph at the beginning: "Xiao Ke suddenly said:..." It is about some matters about the game. I want to say that it is really sudden and without any precautions. As an old player, there should be a reason for doing things. If it is not profitable, you can't afford to do it early, you have your own conspiracy, or other reasons. It cannot be for no reason. I personally prefer the system panel or a special NPC to introduce the game process. Old players generally have their own tricks to survive. Also, "With a mysterious light in his eyes, he said: ... If it's si in the game, it will be si in reality." Ah, this has been said, so it's not mysterious, right? It can be called mysterious by saying half and half, but it doesn't feel that way after everything is explained.

If you have any better imaginative stories for babies who read books, please leave a message!

There's no other meaning, it's just that some parts of this book look like koi fish, just like the spirit-locking rings, aren't they the bracelets of An An and Brother Fu?

The female protagonist has become a male, and there is no sense of substitution at all. If she doesn't change back, I won't watch it.

This is my first time trying to write this kind of escape story, and there are still many shortcomings. I hope everyone can discuss it with me. If you like it, please give it a five-star rating. If you don't like it, you can leave! Thanks

The heroine is now a man, and there is no sense of cp at all. I didn't understand what I was talking about after talking for a long time, so I abandoned the article.

Happy Amusement Park is similar to the author (Luan Qibajiao)'s "Dream Amusement Park" in the novel chapter "Dream Amusement Park" with infinite cheating in the world of horror. It seems that it has only been slightly modified.

Can you please change your title? It's so funny to call me little brother.