I Am Fragrant
by Yang Benfen
About This Novel
"My Fragrance" tells the marriage story of an ordinary woman in the 1967s. Huicai, a young girl with excellent academic performance, moved to Jiangxi to study because the technical secondary school she attended was closed. On the eve of graduation, she was about to be sent to the countryside due to her background. Huicai, who was desperate, was persuaded by her friends to marry Dr. Lu, whom she had just met. After her marriage, she was thrifty and worked hard at home. However, differences in personality preferences and behavior caused constant friction between Huicai and her husband, and having children completely interrupted her education. The passionate and sensitive Huicai can't move an indifferent heart no matter what. She is repeatedly frustrated and refuses to indulge in pain. She is still studying, working, and raising children with great vigor - even if no one appreciates it, she will try her best to bloom her fragrance.
What Readers Think
Rating
Community(0)
Official(21)Scraped 16d ago
Anyone you marry will regret it
Women are just too emotional. Who would get married if they didn't get dizzy? Such a man doesn't know how good you are, so why ask him? Will you still look for him in your next life? Marriage is destined by fate, so how can you control everything?
Sixty years of marriage finally resulted in the words "I don't want to". People who are cold-hearted are incapable of loving others. It is hard to imagine that this may be the epitome of many grandmothers and grandmothers in that era. Marriage is just a task, without love in the heart. In an impregnable marriage, neither she nor he found happiness.
The subject is an avoidant attachment personality. After I learned a lot about the emergence and development of this type of personality, and their inner thoughts about emotions and intimacy, I felt very sorry for him and always wanted to help him transform into a safe type, be able to express his emotions, feelings and needs normally, regain his self-confidence and ability to love, and enjoy intimate relationships like ordinary people. If he can recover, I can get married with him. But I'm not sure about my avoidance and whether it's possible for him to change. Under such circumstances, I want to know what it will be like to marry someone with an avoidant attachment personality, and what will be the final outcome? It was with this thought in mind that I came to read this book. At the end, Lu began to rely on Huicai, thinking that Lu had finally changed, and that Huicai's marriage was finally happy. But when I saw Lu's "unwilling" sentence, I realized that although Lu also has a desire for close relationships, he is most adaptable and accustomed to being single. People like them have very low emotional needs and a high need for freedom. Decades of marriage may always do more harm than good to him. He did not become a safe type in the end, so he finally said "unwilling". If my avoidance is the same as Lu's, and I don't want to change myself and prefer to maintain the status quo, then I will let him go. I don't want to force him or wrong myself. Separation is the best choice.
It may seem ordinary, but it describes the living conditions of hundreds of millions of ordinary people and leaves a deep mark on the times. I don't know how many times better than those so-called grand narratives!
Thoughts on ordinary life
After reading it, I feel like I am both Huicai and Lao Lu. I may regret nine or eleven months of my ten-year marriage, but I often feel that I can survive it for the sake of my children.
It's really sad. You have devoted your whole life, but you still haven't reached the other person's heart. Moreover, Lu is really unreliable! Makes people angry and angry!
See it once and get angry once
In this life, choosing the right lover is very important
I am fragrant
This book is still very realistic. Compared with the book, it can also be compared with the real life of my parents. In fact, society still gives men greater freedom, but men often do not assume (part of) the responsibilities of life and family. For women, not only are their ambitions unable to be realized, but they are also oppressed by life and children. In many families, few men do housework and child-rearing, and women not only have to take on these tasks but also need to consider their own work. As for me, I am still very afraid of marriage. I feel like my current life is freer and closer to happiness. In order for marriage to work together, you have to accept everything about another person. If it's the advantages, it's okay, but the shortcomings are really hard to tolerate. Materials are the basis of real life. It is true that poor and humble couples suffer from everything. With money, big problems can become smaller. Without money, small problems can also be big problems. At present, the country encourages childbirth, but girls must see clearly and get wet. Although divorce is possible, the damage will be indelible!
After marriage
I can't describe the feeling of gap. It's just me who has no luck, I wish you all the best
Rating
Community(0)
Official(21)Scraped 16d ago
Anyone you marry will regret it
Women are just too emotional. Who would get married if they didn't get dizzy? Such a man doesn't know how good you are, so why ask him? Will you still look for him in your next life? Marriage is destined by fate, so how can you control everything?
Sixty years of marriage finally resulted in the words "I don't want to". People who are cold-hearted are incapable of loving others. It is hard to imagine that this may be the epitome of many grandmothers and grandmothers in that era. Marriage is just a task, without love in the heart. In an impregnable marriage, neither she nor he found happiness.
The subject is an avoidant attachment personality. After I learned a lot about the emergence and development of this type of personality, and their inner thoughts about emotions and intimacy, I felt very sorry for him and always wanted to help him transform into a safe type, be able to express his emotions, feelings and needs normally, regain his self-confidence and ability to love, and enjoy intimate relationships like ordinary people. If he can recover, I can get married with him. But I'm not sure about my avoidance and whether it's possible for him to change. Under such circumstances, I want to know what it will be like to marry someone with an avoidant attachment personality, and what will be the final outcome? It was with this thought in mind that I came to read this book. At the end, Lu began to rely on Huicai, thinking that Lu had finally changed, and that Huicai's marriage was finally happy. But when I saw Lu's "unwilling" sentence, I realized that although Lu also has a desire for close relationships, he is most adaptable and accustomed to being single. People like them have very low emotional needs and a high need for freedom. Decades of marriage may always do more harm than good to him. He did not become a safe type in the end, so he finally said "unwilling". If my avoidance is the same as Lu's, and I don't want to change myself and prefer to maintain the status quo, then I will let him go. I don't want to force him or wrong myself. Separation is the best choice.
It may seem ordinary, but it describes the living conditions of hundreds of millions of ordinary people and leaves a deep mark on the times. I don't know how many times better than those so-called grand narratives!
Thoughts on ordinary life
After reading it, I feel like I am both Huicai and Lao Lu. I may regret nine or eleven months of my ten-year marriage, but I often feel that I can survive it for the sake of my children.
It's really sad. You have devoted your whole life, but you still haven't reached the other person's heart. Moreover, Lu is really unreliable! Makes people angry and angry!
See it once and get angry once
In this life, choosing the right lover is very important
I am fragrant
This book is still very realistic. Compared with the book, it can also be compared with the real life of my parents. In fact, society still gives men greater freedom, but men often do not assume (part of) the responsibilities of life and family. For women, not only are their ambitions unable to be realized, but they are also oppressed by life and children. In many families, few men do housework and child-rearing, and women not only have to take on these tasks but also need to consider their own work. As for me, I am still very afraid of marriage. I feel like my current life is freer and closer to happiness. In order for marriage to work together, you have to accept everything about another person. If it's the advantages, it's okay, but the shortcomings are really hard to tolerate. Materials are the basis of real life. It is true that poor and humble couples suffer from everything. With money, big problems can become smaller. Without money, small problems can also be big problems. At present, the country encourages childbirth, but girls must see clearly and get wet. Although divorce is possible, the damage will be indelible!
After marriage
I can't describe the feeling of gap. It's just me who has no luck, I wish you all the best
