The Journey Starts from Bingzhou
About This Novel
This is the abyss! This is hell! Countless ferocious-looking evil beasts trample the earth! Countless demons with invisible faces burn the sky! Here, the sky cracked and the land of China fell. A burly general with a purple gold crown on his head, holding a big halberd, with black flames burning all over his body and wrapped in chains, said softly: "You can recognize me, the ghost Lu Bu!" Countless armored knights were stationed in the abyss. Wang Yi chuckled, shouldered his halberd, pointed at the royal court of the abyss, and said loudly: "Behead the general and seize the flag today." On that day, the bloody Suzaku flew across the sky, and the world was quiet!
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Official(42)Scraped 11d ago
This is based on the theme of Bingzhou, Guangji Liang and Slowly Become the King. Only a few dozen of them were taken and they went to Luoyang. It's quite long-winded. Can you get back to the theme quickly?
I can't watch it
I couldn't stand it anymore after reading Chapter 10, there were too many poisonous points. First of all, the generals were cowardly and did not dare to fight. The Han Dynasty was awarded titles for military merit and was extremely martial. Then you tell me that the generals guarding the border in the north of the Han Dynasty did not dare to fight. How did he become a border guarding general if he did not dare to fight? Then for the division of military force, it is okay to have first-rate, second-rate, and third-rate generals, but the author insists on making second-rate emperor generals and first-rate emperor generals. Damn it, I want to know, in the author's opinion, are all the generals in the Han Dynasty really stupid? If you divide it like this, the emperor's brain has been kicked by a donkey, so he still allows military generals to lead the army? Then in Chapter 10, I saw "Don't Drive" Zhao Wen, "Don't Drive the County", author, are you serious? The Han Dynasty administratively divided states, counties, and counties. States only have their own governors and commanders. Counties only have county governors and county magistrates. County lieutenants, if you use individual governors, others will make trouble.
The scene is big enough, deep enough, and has enough background, but
There are not enough words to express that feeling. You want to write a general who is like an overlord, but there is always an ordinary feeling without his momentum and majesty (although you are young, but what you want to express is different from what you write). I think you can learn from White Wolf Gongsun. He is not as old as you, but he is very good in terms of character and strategy (I think his writing is very good, it has nothing to do with me, it is not an advertisement or something)
. . . . .
Well, that's a good idea. Kill the son first and then let the tiger return to the mountain, so that he can come back to you later? ?
After reading one chapter, I won't say much else but make a few suggestions.
I only read less than one chapter and found a lot of minor flaws. I haven't discovered it yet and don't plan to read it. Let's just talk about the problems I found. Although you are a magician who changed history, you didn't check enough information and there are many small details. Secondly, the routine is too old. For old bookworms, it is better to have no old routine at all. Besides, the character division is not quite in place, and the IQ is a bit lacking. There is also the most important sense of immersion, which gives people a bit of a bad feeling. It is okay for newcomers and those who have read little, but for old bookworms, it will not be able to immerse themselves in it. Especially for people like me who write novels about the Three Kingdoms. After all, I only read less than one chapter, but I read the first chapter. So I hope the author will work hard.
A bit unclear
Why did you let Ding Yuan go? Why didn't you personally lead the army to Jinyang and let him take away one Lu Bu and 50,000 cavalry? The author must have been crazy. He directly took the army to take over Jinyang and got 50,000 cavalry and one Lu Bu. I really don't understand. Just let 50,000 people go. How much wealth is this? If you lead troops to take over Jinyang and Ding Yuan dares to disobey, you will have an excuse to dismiss him and submit. Persuade to quit
suggestion,
For novels with the background of the Three Kingdoms, it is best to detail the wisdom, law, and benefits of farming. However, from your introduction, I feel that it is a fantasy style of the Three Kingdoms. The theme is too big and difficult to understand.
Originally, if you didn't write about his relatives, it wouldn't be so bad. If you didn't kill him, he wouldn't be arrested. If you didn't kill him, he wouldn't be able to enjoy his life. How stupid he is.
The first part is okay, but the author himself is a bit illogical in the second part. At the beginning, he was talking about how powerful the family is, and who has this trump card and that trump card. Later, when the Yuan family was slaughtered and nothing happened, it is a little illogical.
It's okay, but I always feel that the pace is a bit slow, and the system's presence is very low. I don't know when the protagonist will recruit talents such as Zhao Yun, Xu Chu, etc. In fact, I think you can increase the system's presence during battles. Be clear about your skills when fighting generals (I didn't read the chapter about fighting generals, so if there is one, I didn't mention it)
Rating
Community(0)
Official(42)Scraped 11d ago
This is based on the theme of Bingzhou, Guangji Liang and Slowly Become the King. Only a few dozen of them were taken and they went to Luoyang. It's quite long-winded. Can you get back to the theme quickly?
I can't watch it
I couldn't stand it anymore after reading Chapter 10, there were too many poisonous points. First of all, the generals were cowardly and did not dare to fight. The Han Dynasty was awarded titles for military merit and was extremely martial. Then you tell me that the generals guarding the border in the north of the Han Dynasty did not dare to fight. How did he become a border guarding general if he did not dare to fight? Then for the division of military force, it is okay to have first-rate, second-rate, and third-rate generals, but the author insists on making second-rate emperor generals and first-rate emperor generals. Damn it, I want to know, in the author's opinion, are all the generals in the Han Dynasty really stupid? If you divide it like this, the emperor's brain has been kicked by a donkey, so he still allows military generals to lead the army? Then in Chapter 10, I saw "Don't Drive" Zhao Wen, "Don't Drive the County", author, are you serious? The Han Dynasty administratively divided states, counties, and counties. States only have their own governors and commanders. Counties only have county governors and county magistrates. County lieutenants, if you use individual governors, others will make trouble.
The scene is big enough, deep enough, and has enough background, but
There are not enough words to express that feeling. You want to write a general who is like an overlord, but there is always an ordinary feeling without his momentum and majesty (although you are young, but what you want to express is different from what you write). I think you can learn from White Wolf Gongsun. He is not as old as you, but he is very good in terms of character and strategy (I think his writing is very good, it has nothing to do with me, it is not an advertisement or something)
. . . . .
Well, that's a good idea. Kill the son first and then let the tiger return to the mountain, so that he can come back to you later? ?
After reading one chapter, I won't say much else but make a few suggestions.
I only read less than one chapter and found a lot of minor flaws. I haven't discovered it yet and don't plan to read it. Let's just talk about the problems I found. Although you are a magician who changed history, you didn't check enough information and there are many small details. Secondly, the routine is too old. For old bookworms, it is better to have no old routine at all. Besides, the character division is not quite in place, and the IQ is a bit lacking. There is also the most important sense of immersion, which gives people a bit of a bad feeling. It is okay for newcomers and those who have read little, but for old bookworms, it will not be able to immerse themselves in it. Especially for people like me who write novels about the Three Kingdoms. After all, I only read less than one chapter, but I read the first chapter. So I hope the author will work hard.
A bit unclear
Why did you let Ding Yuan go? Why didn't you personally lead the army to Jinyang and let him take away one Lu Bu and 50,000 cavalry? The author must have been crazy. He directly took the army to take over Jinyang and got 50,000 cavalry and one Lu Bu. I really don't understand. Just let 50,000 people go. How much wealth is this? If you lead troops to take over Jinyang and Ding Yuan dares to disobey, you will have an excuse to dismiss him and submit. Persuade to quit
suggestion,
For novels with the background of the Three Kingdoms, it is best to detail the wisdom, law, and benefits of farming. However, from your introduction, I feel that it is a fantasy style of the Three Kingdoms. The theme is too big and difficult to understand.
Originally, if you didn't write about his relatives, it wouldn't be so bad. If you didn't kill him, he wouldn't be arrested. If you didn't kill him, he wouldn't be able to enjoy his life. How stupid he is.
The first part is okay, but the author himself is a bit illogical in the second part. At the beginning, he was talking about how powerful the family is, and who has this trump card and that trump card. Later, when the Yuan family was slaughtered and nothing happened, it is a little illogical.
It's okay, but I always feel that the pace is a bit slow, and the system's presence is very low. I don't know when the protagonist will recruit talents such as Zhao Yun, Xu Chu, etc. In fact, I think you can increase the system's presence during battles. Be clear about your skills when fighting generals (I didn't read the chapter about fighting generals, so if there is one, I didn't mention it)
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