The Moon in Front of the Window on the Top of My Heart

The original intention of writing this book was good, it was my White Moonlight. Gu Chenghui was the first to write, but she was actually ranked last in My White Moonlight. I really thought I could be friends with her for life, but then I thought about it a lot, but I still felt that she was not as good as the people I met before, so why would I be so good to her? I still don't understand why. The people in the book all use pseudonyms, which is my last sign of respect for her. Because I hate her very much and dislike her very much. Not hate, just very disgusted. If I hate someone, I won't think about the same thing over and over again for so long. I will just want them to die. Disgust is not, I don't want her to die, but I definitely don't want her to feel better. How much do I hate her? Let's put it this way, I can't wait to go back to the day when school starts again. I wish she wasn't in this dormitory even if I go back to the day when school starts. I can't wait for her to sink herself into a situation where everyone despises her, and then just like she can so confidently put the responsibility and blame all the mistakes on me alone, I can so justly blame everything on her... But that was when my emotions were at their highest. Later I calmed down and chewed up the details in my memories bit by bit. I wanted to deny everything she had done, just like she denied me. But after one thing is chewed too many times, the memory gradually becomes blurred, and finally the impression of her fades away from my mind bit by bit. Then I only remember bits and pieces of her things. Just remember that I hate her very much. This is actually not the best ending. On the day we broke up for the second time, I really didn't plan to be friends with her anymore, but I also didn't think about making the relationship so rigid. I just thought it would be fine if we were someone we could say hello to and talk to when we met. But now it's impossible for me to say hello to her. She makes me feel sick. Although I ended this relationship, I was actually pretty passive, because she didn't talk to me, and then she pushed the distance between us even further bit by bit, and there was still a thick layer of ice between us. Suppose that two friends with deep feelings have a conflict. The angry party does not talk to her, but thinks in his heart: This matter is actually not a big problem. As long as she takes the initiative to talk to me, I will talk to her too. However, the other party never cared about her from beginning to end. When she couldn't bear to ask, she said, "Aren't you angry? You left without saying anything." So what about blbl? So the two people who had a good relationship drifted further and further apart, and they were no longer as good as strangers to each other. If both parties are angry, then one party must be submissive and take the initiative to speak. I am not incapable of subduing people who are soft. At most, I can suppress my temper and say it to her in a nice voice - but if the other party refuses to give her face, then no matter how good the relationship is, there will be barriers and may even become enemies. And the key to this matter is that she wasn't angry, but she didn't care about me either. Usually, when she sighs, I ask her what's wrong (not the inquisitive kind, and I won't continue to ask if she doesn't want to talk), and even many times (maybe basically) I am the one comforting her. Some people may say that I am the one who is angry, so let her ask and comfort her as she pleases. Then I will tell you what I think. I think she could have asked me at that time, "Where have you been, why didn't I see you?" (I walked one step ahead of her at that time, but came back a few seconds later than her), or she could have asked me, "What's wrong with you, I didn't see you?" Or, more simply and crudely, "What's wrong with you?" I can accept all of this. After all, I don't intend to have any contact with her forever, so I won't find fault with her. But she didn't say anything, not a word, she just stayed silent and said nothing. (I don't know if she's introverted or not, but she's not like me and doesn't even dare to say a word when she sees someone) Later I asked her (I had experienced a lot at that time, and the only thing I didn't quite understand was what I had done wrong to end up with all the accusations and abuses being hurled at me [I was talking about the person who changed my bed, after all, she was the only one who had ever scolded me]). I was also very disappointed with the head teacher. A person in his twenties was as innocent as a child. She has long eyes. I used to treat her a little more special than others, but she was second only to Gu Chenghui). As we talked, it turned into a confrontation, and then she said, "Were you angry at that time, and then you stopped talking to me?" "I was waiting for you there, but you ignored me and left on your own." (Isn't this nonsense? Are you angry that I have to wait for you? [No one else asked her to wait at first, but she insisted on waiting every time. Later, it seemed to be an unwritten rule. It seemed that it was her fault that she didn't wait. Others would ask her why. She didn't wait for "me", and she asked for it if I told her]). At that time, I responded directly: "Do I have to tell you when I go to the bathroom?" (She never told me every time she went somewhere. Several times I went to the bathroom, went to bedtime, or went with my classmates [I only found out this after I asked others]). Well, having said all that, I am actually still not willing to accept it, especially since she disgusted me later. Originally it was only $1.50 And I really didn't care about it so much. But on the day I wanted to embarrass her, I thought about it for a long time before I remembered it, but I still didn't ask her for it. After all, it has become like this. I feel like talking to her is just disgusting myself. But I can't just let this matter go. It just so happens that it can remind me who is worthy of deep friendship and who is worthy of shallow friendship in the future. The pseudonym Gu Chenghui was adapted from her name, but the character "Aloe Hui" remained unchanged. When I heard this name and thought about my own experiences, I understood what kind of person she was even if she had no bad intentions. In fact, I originally wanted to write about Su Mu, but my relationship with him faded later (I took the initiative. I still have a good impression of him, and he didn't do anything to feel sorry for me. Later, I was afraid that it would trouble him in his life. [I have never met him in person. I met him through Kugou Music. It feels good to talk to him, his voice is good, and he makes people feel warmer - so he is Bai Yueguang. He also met many (probably) friends on Kugou Music, and they also know that I am his friend ( I was once misunderstood as his girlfriend, and the culprit was that we were both in the same family. It was the first time I realized that so many people didn't know what "Little Orange" meant.) The relationship with him was just a conversation (to be more profound, he is my creditor, although he didn't ask me to pay back the money, but I prefer not to owe him money, although I haven't figured out a good way to pay him back.), No matter what, I don't want to bother him. ]) As for Gu Chenghui, many things are between the two of us, and most (perhaps basically) others don't know about it, so we don't have this concern. The beauty does not belong to the category of Bai Yueguang. She is my friend and the only cinnabar mole, so she will not be written in the book. My understanding of white moonlight and cinnabar mole may be different from yours. In my opinion, white moonlight is something that is out of reach for me, while cinnabar mole is something that is out of reach for others in my heart. As for parents, they are neither. In my opinion, they are slightly better than cinnabar moles.

Bringing things for them comes first. There are still two weeks left before the day of breaking up. The day of breaking up comes later.