Devouring the Starry Sky: Giving Disciples a Hundredfold Return

Since it is a disciple-returning system, you can call yourself a sect. In the early stage, you can use the virtual universe network to do convenient things. In the later stage, you can join the Hongmeng. There is no need to lick the five major forces. You can become your own force.

I would personally like to give some advice to authors. New authors should be more tolerant. Newcomers who write better will be more tolerant, but if you have any questions, it's easier to raise them. I have read more than a hundred chapters. After that, I personally feel that it is not as stable as the early stage. Maybe it is because although the background of the original work is used, the original work does not have the plot of a wild genius. Most of the plots are created by the author. I feel that it is not as stable as the early stage. This has something to do with it. For example, I personally think some of the designs are unreasonable. The protagonist is very emotional. He travels to the past and immediately comes into contact with these relatively cruel relationships. It can no longer be said to be a social relationship. It should be more appropriately called a cosmic relationship. It is normal for the protagonist to be uncomfortable with it. I suggest that the author also It's better to add some plots to overdo it, and don't always be so alien. I think sometimes the author is constrained by the "innocent" emotions of the protagonist when writing, and the story he writes is inevitably "childish" and does not match the spirit of the original work. After the transition, the author can let go of his play. There are also some relationships between characters, and there are some minor inaccuracies. These are small flaws. Immortal gods should be careful when showing emotional changes. They frown when they have nothing to do. They are too angry. Even if the protagonist is a genius, you don't need to care so much about immortal things. The class he swallows is very clear, and each of them is very old. He is not in a remote place or has limited knowledge. Whether the protagonist joins the internal team or not, or whether he is on a temporary job, there are many. Make a fortune, and lose it if you don't have it. Even if there are few such geniuses over the long years, that's all. It is more about investing in the future of the protagonist, in case the protagonist survives premature death, in case he breaks through immortality, in case it can help him one day. It is a kind of accumulation of connections and worldly sophistication. The few immortals seem too unstructured, like some elders of sects who practice fantasy and immortality. They don't live for a few days and care about everything. They are not like people who have practiced for endless years. I think this kind of pattern problem can be big or small. I suggest that you open up the pattern and not be affected by the conventional fairy tales. Write it as a regular passerby character. If the pattern is downgraded by one level, the audience will be downgraded by one level. Even the whole book will be downgraded by one level. After a hundred chapters, it will be dealt with. It is inevitable that it is a little impetuous and thoughtless. I hope the author will continue to work hard. The first time I wrote it is already great. The writing style is not bad. The narrative is clear and the vocabulary is sufficient, but it can be presented better. I hope the author will try his best to achieve it within his ability. Even if he writes it for the first time, he can write it as successfully as possible.

The writing is very distinctive, but I feel that it has not been developed yet. I can write about the development of the disciples. I also feel that the technique created by the author has no characteristics. Everyone knows that this technique is very powerful. But I don't know how powerful it is. For example, there is a Zerg female insect soon. Can I create a combined attack formation and magic weapon? Can I create a combined type? Also, can I develop a formation and engrave it in my own world? The world will be stable and powerful, and people will be powerful.

We need to write more around Goldfinger. Aren't the fans just watching the new protagonist fly into the sky with Goldfinger? Don't waste too much pen and ink on the plot where the protagonist runs away to find his own way. Just write it once every other plot.

The writing is good but the plot is too rubbish. Goldfinger is good but the writing is terrible. It feels like it was written by AI.

The protagonist is in such a bad state of mind that he will go to bed whenever he gets a little reward. He is always impatient and impatient in everything he does, and he is always startled and deceived.

The character of Luo Feng in the original novel is outrageous. He was born as a slave with pig's feet, and he is so brainwashed that if you don't resist revenge, you can do whatever you want. Born slave soul

Do slaves still show talent? You want to die, right?

Too wordy and watery. A question is discussed repeatedly in this chapter, in the next chapter, and in several chapters.

I looked at the first few pictures and then flipped through the table of contents. First of all, the background of the protagonist. I don't know why the protagonist has to be born as a slave. Do you think slaves are passionate about resistance? ? You are the protagonist and you have a system, and you have to force the entire slave to be born, and then grovel and develop in a wretched way, and then do a reversal, is that any better? ? Star-level and cosmic-level battles of wits and courage here are exciting but not at all satisfying. Secondly, I saw a lot of the settings in the first few pictures that are different from the original work. What if a slave is implanted with a chip, it will change his will and become absolutely loyal to his master? This is the effect of soul slavery. Slaves with chip implants can only not harm their masters. Should they hate or hate their masters in their hearts? In the original book, there are many examples of slaves breaking through domain masters and killing their masters, and the protagonist, who is gradually becoming too slow at the star level, said that he needs to find a fast cultivation method. The original work is all based on gene multipliers, various amplification secrets, and law insights. Isn't it a fantasy novel? The cultivation methods are divided into heaven and earth, right? Third, I flipped through the catalog. It was extremely confusing. Mulu flipped through dozens of pictures. The main character was still a slave, fighting wits and courage with his master, and finally broke through to the universe level. After flipping through Mulu, I immediately lost interest in reading.