I Work Part-time in the Dungeon to Raise an Umbrella

The book is still very creative, but I'm not sure whether your focus is on the real world or the replica world. If it is a dungeon world, it is best that all dungeons have a common element, such as clearance conditions, or starting time, etc., Or to add interest to the dungeon, such as survival decryption type. The current dungeon only allows the protagonist to experience different jobs, which feels very boring. The first dungeon was quite interesting before. In fact, it can be expanded into a large dungeon. The ending was too sloppy, and many of the contents that could be expanded and written were not written well. If the focus is on the real world, please shorten the content of the dungeon and highlight the content where the protagonist is attacked, especially if there will be subsequent situations. And since the umbrella needs energy to restore itself, it must be somewhat involved. Finally, there is the logic problem of the protagonist. If an ordinary person encounters such a thing again, although there is no risk to her life but she will be injured and painful, won't she take any measures? For example, reduce going out. It's completely illogical to go and bask in the sun when someone is obviously going to kill her. And if someone kills her, can't others see it? Even if time goes back and nothing happens, then what is happening is invisible to others. Wouldn't she call the police? Won't the people next to me help report it? Why go to a place with fewer people? As a normal person, even if he is lazy or unwilling to drag others down, he will still seek help when his own safety is involved. Therefore, the logic still needs to be improved. Regarding my comments, I do not want to accuse you of poor writing. On the contrary, what you wrote and your creativity motivated me to read it. However, there are many logical problems that made it too uncomfortable for me to read. I hope you can improve.

Personally, I suggest you polish the content I wrote earlier. It's still free and has little impact at the moment. I personally think this will help put it on the shelves. Of course, if you, the author, have your own arrangements, that's fine. This is just a personal opinion.